By neighbors’ dad insists on mowing their lawn at least twice a week, especially when I’m trying to enjoy my hammock.

How can I sabotage their mowers so it looks like normal wear and tear so that he doesn’t mow the lawn more than once a week.

inb4: suburbs suck

ETA: How does it take you three hours to mow a quarter acre on a riding mower?

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[–] 33 points 4 months ago* (4 children)

neighbors’ dad insists on mowing their lawn at least twice a week, especially when I’m trying to enjoy my hammock.

Noise-cancelling headphones.

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  • [–] [S] 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

    You’d think that.

    You’d really think that.

    But the noise just comes through slightly muffled. It’s still BZZZRBZZZRBZZRB but more like bzzrvbzzzrcbzzzrbzzrb

    And if it lasted a reasonable amount of time it would be one thing. But he’s out there. going over the same patch of lawn like five times

    And then.

    And then.

    He mows the entire lawn AGAIN using a push mower with a bag attachment

    Edit: AND HE DOESNT EVEN EMPTY THE BAG

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  • [–] 22 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

    Maybe try buying him a hammock? All the other ideas lead to either a lawsuit, someone’s death or simple violence. Because littering his lawn with bike chains would be dangerous for everyone.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    simple violence

    If I am committing violence there will be nothing simple about it

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  • [–] 18 points 4 months ago* (3 children)

    riding mower

    That’s your problem, they’re designed for people who want to waste time on their lawn and drink a beer. People who want to get it done with have zero turn mowers.

    Sodium silicate in the oil. Bleach in the gas. An iron spike driven into the ground just below the height of the grass.

    But really the best way to deal with it is to get over it. I know sometimes it’s hard to get over an irritating sound, but it helps your mental health if you don’t get angry about something minor and entirely outside your control

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    I can deal with someone like that.

    The problem is it’s his daughter’s lawn. And as the dad of lady-presenting people I empathize with him to an extent.

    He’s not mowing f his lawn. He’s taking care of his kid.

    So I’m looking for a way to let him know his kid is safe without it barely inconveniencing me.

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  • [–] 16 points 4 months ago (7 children)

    Have you tried talking to him?

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 4 months ago (5 children)

    He’s just so nice and brings me asparagus.

    But he has a CIA hat and dos this on weekdays when I try to slack off.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Surely you could persuade him that mowing that frequently is completely unnecessary?

    Apparently the smell of freshly cut grass is a distress signal.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)

    They have large dogs and I think he excuses this behavior by saying it will help find their scat.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Do not cause permanent damage. Absolutely don't. Not worth it.

    Try to sell him on something quieter. If he absolutely wants a mower he can ride on, try to sell him on a better and quieter electric one.

    If he absolutely won't change, see if a noise complaint is possible (get a logging decibel meter).

    And last, just unplug stuff. It can be plugged back in and it's not destructive, but IS very annoying

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    If it uses a combustion engine, you could try putting something hydrocarbon-soluble in the fuel, like polystyrene. Some of it will get past the fuel filter and foul up the carburetor (and probably the spark plug) without causing permanent damage to the engine. Removing the blockage is trivial, all you need to do is soak and rinse the parts in fresh gasoline, but the diagnosis and disassembly requires some effort and technical knowledge.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Also, I think we all should acknowledge this is Dullsters. ITT it's violence all up and down. Come on, team.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago*

    Yeah, somehow I think sabotaging another person('s property) qualifies as dramatic, not as dull. Wonder if all the upvotes are from drive-by folks who didn't check the community name. Also breaks rule 4, this isn't an advice forum.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    For around $1 million USD, you would launch it into orbit.

    This would not cause any additional wear and tear so it would look pretty normal (through a telescope).

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Scatter stones all over the yard being mowed so it fucks up their blade.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Project Farm to the rescue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsjKLqUnwyU

    I think lapping compound destroyed it the fastest, IIRC.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    Remove his spark plugs.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (3 children)

    Loosen the screw that’s holding the blade in place.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    I like this.

    He doesn’t seem capable of fixing it himself and I’ve got a 1/4” breaker bar in the garage

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (9 children)

    If you can get to the mower just put sugar in the gas tank

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 4 months ago* (7 children)

    Feels too traceable.i want it to look like the mower gave out because it’s being used too much

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    And then? He'll buy another one...

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  • [–] [S] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 child)

    He’s using some late-70s Craftsman. There’s no money for it.

    What if I buy them an electric mower and sneak it in there?

    Better: Electrify the old Craftsman.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Have you considered those plain foam earplugs? Now you can get 'em at super isolating ratings. If you're in The States, give Alpine earplugs a check. Comes with a variety of noise-block interchangeable/swappable inner filters, and not for much scratch.

    Noise can definitely be a nuisance, but think about what you can do for your first lines of defense. Don't go on the offense.

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  • [–] 0 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

    "Sprinkle" the lawn with some stones. Big enough to fuck the blade but little enough so he won't see them. And not many.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Okay but I have windows within “sprinkling” distance

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago* (1 child)

    Scatter some flower seeds in the lawn.

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