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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by flandish@lemmy.world to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world

not sure what to do about this, but I feel like it’s the only thing I can “control”, even though it is kind of petty.  

My neighbors are very much an industrious hoarding type of Neighbor. 

They like to repair small engines and small devices to make a few bucks. They work on their cars in their driveway, which is just fine. I would do it too, except their placement of the small engine repair portion, the impact wrenches, tire changing machine, air compressor … is within 5 feet of the edge of my property line which also happens to be 5 feet of the edge of my house: i.e. my house edge is on my property one so when they run their engines at any hour of the day, I have both engine noise and exhaust, or air compressors/impact guns in my living room or my bed room. 

This means I cannot use those windows when they have those engines and air compressor running. 

I was OK with them having six vehicles i.e. four cars, two motorcycles in a two car spot and using the street for the rest even though that meant they parked closer and closer on the street to the edge of my driveway, making it hard for me to get out of my driveway. 

But I drew the line at all of those engines, making enough noise so i could not have quite enjoyment of my house. I even went so far as to put film up on the window so I could have the blinds open let light in but not have to see piles and piles of car parts, exhaust, various snowblower and lawnmower and other things in the alleyway between our houses. 

I’ve complained to their landlord because the piles in the backyard that they are creating actually extend over the property line. I know if I don’t say something about that and “you snooze you lose” that property (i own).  

But when I asked the neighbors to please stop at the engine noise right next to my house they doubled down. 

I went to the landlord nothing happens. I even asked the town and nothing happened there. 

So I’m doing a petty thing and I park one of my cars in front of my house. 

It’s not blocking their driveway in any way shape or form it’s not even blocking my driveway. There’s about one car length for a two door wrangler in front of my house. So now they cannot park all of their vehicles on the street without getting very good at parallel parking. 

It’s petty, but at least I’m doing something with the only thing I can control and that is making it so I can get out of my driveway by only worrying about my car in the street, not they’re car. Because last year they claimed one of my cars hit theirs.  Even so far as to have a cop issue a “left scene of an accident” charge; the prosecutor laughed and threw it out...  

So the neighbors have taken to playing “poor me” with the other neighbors; seen them outside pointing at my car and lamenting. They even went so far on Facebook to complain in our town community page but they complain in a way that makes it seem like they’re afraid of hitting my car and they’re asking for a place to rent, which is honestly something that should’ve gone a long time ago because they have four more vehicles and two motorcycles. They have so much stuff they had to tarp their porch so that nobody could see the blight that they have accumulated. 

Anyway, there’s not much I can do but I feel petty about it. It’s really hard. I am reluctant to talk to them again about this because I just don’t trust that they won’t claim I’m harassing them for something like that. They seem very much a litigious sticky tar pit of a scenario. 

Heck 6-8 months ago we were sharing meals! We were giving each other different foods from our cultures. They’re from Ukraine as immigrants from a war, they’re trying their best. They’ve got five adults living in that house in an infant baby and they’re trying their best to make things happen here in the US. I get it, but I can’t abide by having motor vehicle noise in my living and bedroom.

Ugh.  Thoughts?

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[-] fr0g@piefed.social 4 points 1 week ago

Seens to me like the main problem for you is the noise/fumes? If so, retaliating in secondary ways that aren't related to the thing that's most bothering you (although the car thing still seems relatively reasonable) is probably not gonna help and more likely to just lead to an escalating spiral of petty retaliation.

From the way you describe it, it seems like there is a good shot what they are doing is above the allowed levels of noise and maybe there are regulations for pollution as well? This is what I would try to focus and and try to look into in detail. See how good of a legal/regulatory case you have, not even with the direct intent to sue, but as a way to strengthen your negotiating position. Try to get a good picture of the facts and laws at hand, then try to communicate the situation clearly to them and if possible try to find a good compromise solution (moving the engines and stuff to a different part of the property). And if you have kindly and clearly stated your case and they still refuse, then you can still look into further options.

[-] blarghly@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I understand the frustration here, especially regarding the smell of running ICE engines. But it kinda sounds like both sides here are being petty.

For noise - this is no different than hearing lawn mowers or dogs barking. It's just part of city life. As long as they aren't working at 10pm, I don't think it is worth fighting. Maybe get a good soundspeakers and play some ambient music or white noise.

For the fumes - you could ask them to run the engines further from your window. You can also get a box fan to put in the window pointed outward.

For the engine parts - there's a reason they say good fences make good neighbors. Build a fence to demarkate your property line. Put their shit on their side of the fence.

For the sight of their various parts and such - idk, deal with it, who gives a shit? As a fellow tinkerer, I kinda like the sight of the various odds and ends taken apart.

The biggest problem is that you let this get to the point of involving the landlord or the law in the first place. Even if they are kinda being dicks about it, it is almost always better to keep things as informal, person to person conversations, because then there is still the possibility of bargining, mutual respect, and compromise. Once you start engaging authority figures or petty passive aggressive tactics, you have exited the conversation and are trying to force your will on them, to which the only reasonable response on their end is also force.

I think that your first order of business should be to try to repair your relationship with your neighbors, starting by apologizing for any dickishness you might have engaged in. Hopefully, at least with some time and good faith on your part, they will come around and you can open up about potential compromises in the future.

[-] flandish@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

thats simply it - I did ask. They doubled down. Told me no.

our town has noise ord for all hours of the day. normal nighttime levels and daytime levels. Maybe i was not articulate enough but for example if I hang a window ac unit in my window unit overhangs onto the next prop line. It’s tight. That’s the kind of alley. 2 stroke engines mere 4 feet from my living room windows for hours at a time mid day.

[-] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Parking your car on the street in front of your house as a way to ensure there's enough space for you to safely pull out... If there's nothing parked in your driveway now then it's arguably a bit petty. But if there's still another car parked in your driveway (which sounds like this is the case) then imo there's nothing wrong with that. You are within your rights, and it sounds like you've asked them politely on other things and they haven't complied. So you're taking a practical and legal step to protect full access to your driveway.

Your complaints about their noise and pollution haven't come to anything, and you haven't escalated those in a crazy way. As someone else said, the time of day off the noise is an important factor. But complaining on its own isn't a sin.

It looks like some people here are very critical of you, based on downvotes. But as someone who has been in a similar situation with noisy/messy neighbors, I can empathize with you. It's easy to take the 'people have the right to do their things' approach. And I agree with that in most situations. But when you are stuck next to people who are not respecting distance and who are making noise all hours it's not pleasant to be on the receiving end.

Imo, you aren't being an asshole with your neighbors.

ETA: Although I don't think this is the right community for this post, and that might be the reason for the downvotes.

[-] flandish@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Thanks for your kind reply!

[-] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

If your car is parked on the street and in front of your house that seems fine. Unless they run the engines ouside of typical city quiet hours, you may be out of luck there. I wonder is there are any city ordinances about operating that kind of machinery on residential property. Especially if they are operating a business where they shouldn't be. Would require research and you have to decide if taking away an income source is something you are willing to do. Best of if luck!

[-] AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

As long as the noise takes place within the hours of the day specified by law, i.e. not after quiet hours (before 7am and after 10pm most places), you're the one in the wrong here. They have a right to make noise between those hours, and mechanical work noise definitely counts.

They're not blasting music, having a party, or having untrained noisy pets. They're working hard to better their place in this country after losing everything.

[-] DrBob@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago

That's not wholly true. You have a right to quiet enjoyment of your property. So yes they can work on their vehicles for a limited time, but they can't run vehicles from 8 am to 10 pm or whatever the rules are. But finding the balance of rights is going to be hell. It's either negotiated or litigated. And it sounds like the negotiations aren't going well.

[-] flandish@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Our town has daytime noise ordinances too - something iirc like 55db. Something if measured 3-6 feet from an exhaust would obv be too loud.

That’s the distance they are running them from my living room windows.

That’s what they doubled down on when I asked them to be considerate and maybe use the back yard or something for their engine repair.

[-] HubertManne@piefed.social 1 points 1 week ago

I mean if its as noisy and smelly as you say I can't see any direct neighbors even across the street being too sympathetic. Unless they go like 3 neighbors over or something but even then a loud engine will piss someone off even on the other end of the block if you doing it all the time. I assume its at least as bad as someone revving their engine constantly. I would think similarly with the parking that if they are bitching about one car in front of the owners property when they are parking several it would get the smallest violin response from neighbors.

[-] lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com -3 points 1 week ago

From this:

They’re from Ukraine as immigrants from a war, they’re trying their best. They’ve got five adults living in that house in an infant baby and they’re trying their best to make things happen here in the US. I get it...

To this:

I get it, but I can’t abide by having motor vehicle noise in my living and bedroom.

In one sencetence. I'm not trying to be rude but this is the most NIMBY shit I have ever seen. This mentality is partially why we have a homelessness crisis in this country, the whole "I get it," but "I'm not sacrificing one iota to make it better."

[-] Ebby@lemmy.ssba.com 7 points 1 week ago

In one sentence. I'm not trying to be rude but this is the most NIMBY shit I have ever seen.

My old neighbors worked on cars just outside my living room too. The decibel meter I bought registered 85db inside my house. Sometimes it's a valid complaint.

[-] flandish@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I can reach out of my window an touch the engines on their property. How is “not in my living room” equating to not in my back yard to you?

[-] lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com -5 points 1 week ago

You bought a house within an arms length to a neighbors property and are shocked you can hear them? If you wanted tranquility you made a bad investment!

[-] flandish@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

a) I inherited it when my wife died. b) i have owned it for more than 20 years c) the neighbors moved in abt 2 years ago. d) they were friendly until i asked them to be considerate of the noise and pollution they are putting into my house. e) my house is not an investment. it’s my home.

how is that a problem?

[-] lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

how is that a problem?

I only knew about and argued about d.) - that's a lot of new info to throw on the field there wow

[-] flandish@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I know it’s already an old thread but to add some context - here is a photo. The pov is from my front door. Looking at what as a firefighter i would call the “a-d” corner. the empty flagpole holder is my corner. the tarp area is the neighbors. the worn grassy brown spot is where they fix engines or work on lawn mowers or use tire machine/run an air compressor.

it also happens to be next to my bedroom and living room.

that’s simply it. no nimby stuff. just “yo full bore 2 stroke is loud even for daytime if the exhaust is at my bedroom window.

sigh. thanks anyway for your replies earlier.

[-] lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

Fair enough brother you were not exaggerating haha... I wish you the best, consider my comments redacted

[-] flandish@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

i mean i kinda mentioned all but “a” in my albeit long winded post.

[-] fr0g@piefed.social 3 points 1 week ago

It's not NIMBY shit depending on how loud those noises are. Loud noises are an actual physical stressor that can meaningfully mess you up, especially over prolonged periods of time and trying to show good will about the situation isn't magically make that go away.

Maybe that's not the case here, we can't tell how much noise there is obviously, so it's difficult to properly judge the situation.

[-] lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com -1 points 1 week ago

isn’t magically make that go away

I said nothing about making it go away, I talked about dealing with noise as a small sacrifice to help a struggling immigrant family. NIMBY as all hell, sorry.

Loud noises are an actual physical stressor

As someone who lived in the belly of the beast in NYC for a few years, this made me chuckle, thank you.

[-] fr0g@piefed.social 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

As someone who lived in the belly of the beast in NYC for a few years, this made me chuckle, thank you.

https://www.logicalfallacies.org/anecdotal.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_effects_from_noise

this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2026
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