My favorite spiders are jumping spiders. They’re agile and playful and responsive and utterly harmless for people. I can still remember the day I killed a jumping spider on accident while trying to shoo it off of my pants, and that was decades ago. I’m sorry little fella, I thought you’d scoot, not smear. Now I’m extra careful with any spider I’m handling.

I'm sure it would have eaten you without a second thought if it could have. Fuck that bitch ass beetle

If you think YOU'RE feeling bad, how do you think the beetle felt?

When I got my first (bb) gun as a kid, it did not take long for me to make my first kill. There were some sparrows hopping around in a tree in my backyard while I was out there shootin' mah gun unsupervised (as was the style at the time). I pointed, I pulled the trigger. I shot and killed one of the birds.

And then I walked up to have a glance at the poor bird. Fortunately it was dead. It had a little bullet hole and a bit of blood spilled out. But it was limp when I picked it up.

I felt terrible about it. I think I might've even cried. My dad told me not to do that again, and offered the helpful observation "at least it died quickly".

So along those lines, I hope your former beetle at least died quickly. In truth, a quick passing is almost a blessing. So many organisms linger at the end, humans included. You might've spared this one creature.

And back to the sparrow, I have mostly absolved myself of my avian murder since now as an adult I've come to realize that the bird I shot was an invasive European Sparrow.

So along those lines, I hope if your former beetle didn't die quickly then perhaps it was an otherwise ecologically devastating invasive species and you actually did the right thing by murdering it.

Beetles can be pests too.

Ask me how I know

empathy and compassion are great qualities, and in short supply! maybe consider looking into veganism if you haven't already. aligning your lifestyle to your values can be liberating!

So you are a racist ... (Specieist?)

It's funny how I go out of my way to avoid harming spiders in my house, but then I hop on my bike and ride the trails, murdering thousands of critters - bugs, mice, frogs, you name it - and I don't lose any sleep over it. It's just a byproduct of my hobby, and since I'm not acutely aware of each little crunch, it doesn't register. The only time I even pay attention to it is when the baby frogs spawn and there are millions of them. I try to avoid them as best I can, but for each one I manage to avoid, I probably crush 30 others.