literally put shit on egg -- enshitification

- NFTs of specific eggs
- egg crypto currency
- mandatory AI driven (needs an account) app to use the egg
- lower the production to control the price
- lobby the gov to mandate that everyone needs to consume an egg a day & be able to prove it (or jail time)
- use personal data to determine the optimal price per eg for each customer
- egg loot boxes

Micro transaction: Get the yolk for free but the white costs .99

Eggland's Best already stamps their logo on the eggs they sell. I consider that advertising on the eggs.

Enchickification

fun fact: chickens usually give 1 egg a month, but due to severe selective breeding, they give 1-2 a DAY. Ugh.

Sell the yolks separately.

Chicken Run 2.0

Enchickenshitification

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Enchickification

I’m just gonna mute those egg ads, the sizzle for crispy fried eggs no more for me

Technically chickens lay eggs and shit using the same external opening (cloacal opening), so it's just a matter of controling shit-to-egg ratio. It was designed to carry out enshittification once they seize the global market. /s

The subscription model would just access to online catalog of various vendors you can buy from

Technically not free. They get free food, housing, and medical care. For some thats probably better than what they got now.

Fewer eggs laid per week, but charge the same for them.

Dude ... Shut the fuck up. Big egg gonna have a meeting

Eggs watch you and record all of your conversations

My local Shop-Rite recently recently had a sale of a dozen "large" eggs for 99 cents. I bought a dozen and they were like the size of fucking quail eggs. Can't complain for $1, I guess. These days, I have to buy Jumbo eggs in order to get something that is like the size of a normal egg.

"They're a business and they need to make money." - Average Dipshit

probably waste money to use ink to print ads on the eggs.

EggI Agents

What free eggs lol Humans literally pay for their entire existence already.