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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by tetris11@feddit.uk to c/science_memes@mander.xyz

If you've ever gone hiking through a farmer's field, you've likely noticed that your compass points directly to the nearest cow.

This is not an accident, and is part of a government conspiracy to replace all livestock with robots, in order to make them more accessible to aliens beaming them up from orbit[0].

This slow transition from biological to mechanical cows is known as hardware disease[1], and should be celebrated.

The more you know.

0: https://www.aemagnets.com/news/how-cow-magnets-save-animals.html
1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardware_disease

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[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 84 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I already know nobody is going to click on OP's link, so the short version is the magnet is permanently placed down in the cow's second stomach and it stays there for life, and if the cow eats and nails or pieces of barbed wire or other metal bits found on farms, it sticks to the magnet instead of shredding up their intestines or other stomachs as their feed is tossed around and digested and re-chewed and digested again, etc.

Some models have plastic caging around the magnet to also protect the cow's stomach from sharp metal things stuck to the magnet.

[-] tetris11@feddit.uk 36 points 1 week ago

I prefer my version, but whatever

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

We can do your version on weekends and every other holiday.

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Damn, did you make your username specifically for this post? ๐Ÿ„

[-] RamenJunkie@midwest.social 19 points 1 week ago

Thats actually fascinating.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago

Wait until you learn about portholes to their stomachs and methane vents people install on cows.

[-] ReverendIrreverence@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

Hole-y Cow!

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 days ago

Fun fact: you can set that methane on fire to make the cow 10% faster

Not anymore, cows now have a restrictor plate to make them more competitive

[-] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

The volume you can drain from a cow with an infected whatever can be shocking, truly

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

I've never known someone who lived around farm animals who doesn't have at least one story about either a giant boil or having to reach shoulder-deep into an animal to save it's stupid life because it ate something dumb.

[-] LeonineAlpha@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

Watch "All watched over by machines of loving grace" BBC, Curtis; might be also on some dread YouTube. The cow portholes were part of (unexpected) scientific disproof of the trite popular wisdom of "Ballance of Nature." Whole series is a trip, if maybe a bad one.

[-] ReverendIrreverence@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

machines of loving grace

I liked that band

[-] spinne@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Literally true. You can reach inside a cannulated cow, but I definitely recommend the longest pair of rubber gloves you can find. The dishwashing kind will not cut it.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Alternatively, if the portal is large enough and you're into it, you could just Ace Ventura it.

[-] spinne@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Everybody needs a hobby!

[-] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 week ago

So, you can actually use cows as a compass to a point.

Cows pretty consistently tend to align themselves on a north-south axis when resting. I don't believe anyone has ever figured out why.

[-] IchNichtenLichten@lemmy.wtf 23 points 1 week ago

Fucking cows, how do they work?

[-] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago
[-] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

They do know why, its that cows have some directional sense based in electromagnetism like an actual compass. Cows that are near high voltage power lines dont align the same way as cows normally do. Their sense gets messed up by the strength of the electrical fields that surround high voltage lines

They probably can see them, just like birds

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago

Compasses point north, not to any nearest magnet. If compasses pointed to any nearest magnet, they wouldn't work as intended.

[-] ebolapie@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago
[-] ebolapie@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Anymore should learn to listen a little better

[-] radix@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Have you ever magnetically levitated a cow? If not, then however magnetic they are, it's less magnetic than frogs.

[-] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 7 points 1 week ago

Were gonna need a bigger magnet

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

They create LIVESTOCK-FREE URBAN ZONING because they hate FREE ENERGY. It is the duty of FREETHINKERS to RESIST.

[-] blackbrook@mander.xyz 8 points 1 week ago

Mag-cow disease.

[-] tetris11@feddit.uk 7 points 1 week ago

One guy tips over a cow just to get a few amps from his homemade solenoid, and suddenly laws against it are written. Cow tipping is a time honored tradition. Vote YES on proposition 69

[-] atropa@piefed.social 6 points 1 week ago

Only in murica , cows dont need magnets .

[-] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

RFK Jr and Kid Rock will be launching a "Drink Your Whole Magnets" campaign this week.

[-] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I have one of these magnets on the side of my work truck. Didn't know I was driving a cow

[-] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

FYI: Lemmy's markdown formatting supports footnotes. It's pretty handy.

make claim here.^[URL goes here] becomes:

make claim here.^[URL goes here]

[-] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago
[-] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 week ago

Imagine instead of eating steak and burgers, you just start eating a bunch of metal and they would call it "meat"

[-] Engywuck@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago
[-] xep@discuss.online 2 points 1 week ago

Cows aren't... real...?

this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2026
209 points (99.1% liked)

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