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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by happybadger@hexbear.net to c/urbanism@hexbear.net

https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256807756353399.html

The video shows someone driving it without a horse at ebike speeds, but the product page doesn't list the motor or battery specs. We could have entire cities full of these if we abolished cars. CyberMozart 1777.

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[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 40 points 1 day ago

Okay hear me out, we harness up dogs to these.

No, the dogs aren’t pulling. The dogs just get to go at whatever speed. The harness is rigged to a device that reads how fast it needs to go. It then matches the speed of the dog.

Now, I know you’re starting to realize it too, the nearly limitless potential. Other dogs can ride in the carriage.

Do I really need to keep elaborating or are you gonna pass me that blunt?

[-] miz@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago
[-] Sam@hexbear.net 37 points 1 day ago

Im afraid that electric horseless carraiges were actually the first thing to be invented. There was a window in the late 1800s were battery and motor technology was just as if not more viable as ICEs and as with steam power the first attempts were usually just "replace the horse". Then ICEs got to the point were risk of death was at an acceptable level and the allure of going over 15km/h killed them.

[-] Carl@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago

Edison battery horseless carriage be like

[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago

i bet she handles like a fucking dream, so long as you don't take any corners faster than 3 mph.

[-] FumpyAer@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago

Apparently, Amish types pay like 20 to $30k for a NICE horse carriage when they get married.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 22 points 1 day ago

Swerve peasants, nobility coming through.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago

Driving through the commons blasting greensleeves, smoking a fat thurible full of myrrh.

[-] miz@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

He was a man of about sixty, handsomely dressed, haughty in manner, and with a face like a fine mask. A face of a transparent paleness; every feature in it clearly defined; one set expression on it. The nose, beautifully formed otherwise, was very slightly pinched at the top of each nostril. In those two compressions, or dints, the only little change that the face ever showed, resided. They persisted in changing colour sometimes, and they would be occasionally dilated and contracted by something like a faint pulsation; then, they gave a look of treachery, and cruelty, to the whole countenance. Examined with attention, its capacity of helping such a look was to be found in the line of the mouth, and the lines of the orbits of the eyes, being much too horizontal and thin; still, in the effect of the face made, it was a handsome face, and a remarkable one.

Its owner went downstairs into the courtyard, got into his carriage, and drove away. Not many people had talked with him at the reception; he had stood in a little space apart, and Monseigneur might have been warmer in his manner. It appeared, under the circumstances, rather agreeable to him to see the common people dispersed before his horses, and often barely escaping from being run down. His man drove as if he were charging an enemy, and the furious recklessness of the man brought no check into the face, or to the lips, of the master. The complaint had sometimes made itself audible, even in that deaf city and dumb age, that, in the narrow streets without footways, the fierce patrician custom of hard driving endangered and maimed the mere vulgar in a barbarous manner. But, few cared enough for that to think of it a second time, and, in this matter, as in all others, the common wretches were left to get out of their difficulties as they could.

With a wild rattle and clatter, and an inhuman abandonment of consideration not easy to be understood in these days, the carriage dashed through streets and swept round corners, with women screaming before it, and men clutching each other and clutching children out of its way. At last, swooping at a street corner by a fountain, one of its wheels came to a sickening little jolt, and there was a loud cry from a number of voices, and the horses reared and plunged.

But for the latter inconvenience, the carriage probably would not have stopped; carriages were often known to drive on, and leave their wounded behind, and why not? But the frightened valet had got down in a hurry, and there were twenty hands at the horses’ bridles.

“What has gone wrong?” said Monsieur, calmly looking out.

A tall man in a nightcap had caught up a bundle from among the feet of the horses, and had laid it on the basement of the fountain, and was down in the mud and wet, howling over it like a wild animal.

“Pardon, Monsieur the Marquis!” said a ragged and submissive man, “it is a child.”

“Why does he make that abominable noise? Is it his child?”

“Excuse me, Monsieur the Marquis—it is a pity—yes.”

The fountain was a little removed; for the street opened, where it was, into a space some ten or twelve yards square. As the tall man suddenly got up from the ground, and came running at the carriage, Monsieur the Marquis clapped his hand for an instant on his sword-hilt.

“Killed!” shrieked the man, in wild desperation, extending both arms at their length above his head, and staring at him. “Dead!”

The people closed round, and looked at Monsieur the Marquis. There was nothing revealed by the many eyes that looked at him but watchfulness and eagerness; there was no visible menacing or anger. Neither did the people say anything; after the first cry, they had been silent, and they remained so. The voice of the submissive man who had spoken, was flat and tame in its extreme submission. Monsieur the Marquis ran his eyes over them all, as if they had been mere rats come out of their holes.

He took out his purse.

“It is extraordinary to me,” said he, “that you people cannot take care of yourselves and your children. One or the other of you is for ever in the, way. How do I know what injury you have done my horses. See! Give him that.”

He threw out a gold coin for the valet to pick up, and all the heads craned forward that all the eyes might look down at it as it fell. The tall man called out again with a most unearthly cry, “Dead!”

He was arrested by the quick arrival of another man, for whom the rest made way. On seeing him, the miserable creature fell upon his shoulder, sobbing and crying, and pointing to the fountain, where some women were stooping over the motionless bundle, and moving gently about it. They were as silent, however, as the men.

“I know all, I know all,” said the last comer. “Be a brave man, my Gaspard! It is better for the poor little plaything to die so, than to live. It has died in a moment without pain. Could it have lived an hour as happily?”

“You are a philosopher, you there,” said the, Marquis, smiling. “How do they call you?”

“They call me Defarge.”

“Of what trade?”

“Monsieur the Marquis, vendor of wine.”

“Pick up that, philosopher and vendor of wine,” said the Marquis, throwing him another gold coin, “and spend it as you will. The horses there; are they right?”

Without deigning to look at the assemblage a second time, Monsieur the Marquis leaned back in his seat, and was just being driven away with the air of a gentleman who had accidentally broke some common thing, and had paid for it, and could afford to pay for it; when his ease was suddenly disturbed by a coin flying into his carriage, and ringing on its floor.

“Hold!” said Monsieur the Marquis. “Hold the horses! Who threw that?”

He looked to the spot where Defarge the vendor of wine had stood, a moment before; but the wretched father was grovelling on his face on the pavement in that spot, and the figure that stood beside him was the figure of a dark stout woman, knitting.

“You dogs!” said the Marquis, but smoothly, and with an unchanged front, except as to the spots on his nose: “I would ride over any of you very willingly, and exterminate you from the earth. If I knew which rascal threw at the carriage, and if that brigand were sufficiently near it, he should be crushed under the wheels.”

So cowed was their condition, and so long and hard their experience of what such a man could do to them, within the law and beyond it, that not a voice, or a hand, or even an eye was raised. Among the men, not one. But the woman who stood knitting looked up steadily, and looked the Marquis in the face. It was not for his dignity to notice it; his contemptuous eyes passed over her, and over all the other rats; and he leaned back in his seat again, and gave the word “Go on!”

He was driven on, and other carriages came whirling by in quick succession; the Minister, the State-Projector, the Farmer-General, the Doctor, the Lawyer, the Ecclesiastic, the Grand Opera, the Comedy, the whole Fancy Ball in a bright continuous flow, came whirling by. The rats had crept out of their holes to look on, and they remained looking on for hours; soldiers and police often passing between them and the spectacle, and making a barrier behind which they slunk, and through which they peeped. The father had long ago taken up his bundle and bidden himself away with it, when the women who had tended the bundle while it lay on the base of the fountain, sat there watching the running of the water and the rolling of the Fancy Ball—when the one woman who had stood conspicuous, knitting, still knitted on with the steadfastness of Fate. The water of the fountain ran, the swift river ran, the day ran into evening, so much life in the city ran into death according to rule, time and tide waited for no man, the rats were sleeping close together in their dark holes again, the Fancy Ball was lighted up at supper, all things ran their course.

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago

Vampire Hunter D ass e-carriage

[-] lurker_supreme@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

the ali express page says:

1 sold

100k+ similar items sold

what could it possibly consider similar?

What does "similar items" refer to? This refers to items you may be interested in that are similar to the item you are currently browsing, in terms of color, brand, style etc.

?????????????

[-] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

CyberMozart 1777?

For real though this is pretty close to lt-kitsuragi's carriage and I, for one, am here for it.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago

I'm very tempted to get one as a car replacement if I can get a system fast enough to be urban street legal (60kmh~), but the custom bodies mean too many options. Do I want a Disco Elysium car, a CyberAmish one, a CyberWestern stagecoach, something themed after my dog's country, or Uma Thurman's truck from Kill Bill? You can't own something like this without making it as stupid as possible, but it has to be the smartest kind of stupid to be endearing rather than quirked up white boy.

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 1 day ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[-] Sickos@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago
[-] thlibos 3 points 1 day ago

Mao is rolling in his grave.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

One of the big communist initiatives of his era, and one of the Four Big Things marking consumer prosperity, was kickstarting China's bicycle industry so that everyone had personal mobility with a domestic supply chain. He also read a lot of Western Enlightenment writers' work. I feel like I could easily convince him that this is awesome.

[-] thlibos 11 points 1 day ago

It's socialism with Chinese Carriagistics

[-] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago

Not really. He wasn't really adverse to technology. He's no Pol Pot.

this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2026
83 points (100.0% liked)

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