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submitted 1 day ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/CanadianRoboOverlord on 2026-02-16 13:40:29+00:00.


Obligatory- this happened this past Saturday.

So, this weekend I was on a trip to another city to hang out with a beautiful girl I met online.

Naturally, I'm going to forget something when I go traveling, and this time it was razors.

No problem, I say to myself. I'll just grab some disposables from the local dollar store and it'll all be good.

So, the next morning, before I'm supposed to meet up with the girl that I'm seeing, I pop over to a local dollar store and pick up what I think are some half decent disposable razors. Then, I head on back to the hotel I'm staying at to get ready for our date.

Now before I go on, I should tell you that I'm used to a fairly high-end razor that doesn't require a lot of soap, and gives me the occasional nick but not very often. So, I use some of the hotel soap which doesn't lather well, and I get to shaving.

I can feel it pulling and nicking me a tiny bit, but I thought it should be fine.

Then, after I'm done shaving, I wander off to the next room to start getting dressed and ready because I know she's coming pretty soon.

She texts and says she'll be there in a few minutes and I tell her no problem.

Then, I wander back into the bathroom, and discover the horror of what I have just done. I have just cut the shit out of my face, and basically along my neck and lips it's bleeding like crazy.

I have a fucking beard of blood pouring down my face right before I'm supposed to meet up for a breakfast date!

shit shit shit

I start to panic and try wiping it off, only to discover that the water is making things worse, not better, and it's bleeding even more crazily.

Ding goes my phone - "Hey! I'm here!'

I text back that I'll meet her down in the lobby, and take a moment to think. There's no way I can go down there looking like this, but how do I stop all this blood?

Then a thought occurs to me- ice! I need ice to constrict the veins and get the bleeding to stop.

So in a panic, I dash out the door to go find the hotel ice machine. Naturally, there's a maid outside in the hallway, and she sees me looking like Hammer Dracula who has just gone to town on some village girl.

Her eyes go wide and she gasps as she looks at me, but at this point I don't really care. I just muttered something about being sorry, and boot it down the hallway to find that ice machine.

Luckily for me, the machine is on my floor, so I scoop up handfuls of ice from the machine, and go running back to my room. Once I get back there, I text the girl that I'm going to be a little late, and start applying the ice to my neck and face.

My hands hurt from the ice, but I just don't care. I need this bleeding to stop and stop right away.

And to my absolute joy, it works!

First the ice, and then I use a towel that's soaked in cold water to clean things off very gently. Yeah, there's still a little bit of blood coming from a few spots but they're tiny.

Eventually, my mouth looks okay and the skin on my neck is a bit red, but it's okay. I clean up, and I head down to apologize to my date for being a bit late. I make a joke about cutting myself shaving, she laughs, and everything goes well.

And that's how I reenacted a horror scene in a hotel hallway. Enjoy!

TL;DR - used a cheap razor to turn my face into a beard of blood before a date and turned myself into the story of the day for some hotel cleaner.

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this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2026
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Today I Fucked Up

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