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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MaryM_Guidry on 2026-02-15 09:51:38+00:00.
so this started in a laundromat in El Paso, Texas because apparently I cannot just shut up and exist like a normal person.
This girl walks in like absolute 10, starts arguing on the phone in rapid spanish. I catch like three words total but I recognize the vibe. Family drama. She hangs up looks stressed. I, being an idiot with hero syndrome, say something like sounds intense.
She switches to eng, laughs, says yeah my mom is dramatic. Then she asks, wait do you speak Spanish?
And for some reason my brain goes yes.
I do not.
I took two semesters in high school. I can order tacos and ask where the bathroom is. That is it.
She lights up. Says finally, someone who gets it. We start talking. I keep it vague. nodding. Throwing in random words like claro and si entiendo. She seems impressed that I can keep up.
We exchange numbers.
Fast forward two weeks. We have been texting. I use chatgpt like it is life support. I copy paste voice notes into apps to figure out what she is saying. It is exhausting but she is amazing so I keep the lie alive
Last night she tells me her parents want to meet me on tuesday for dinner. Full family. Mostly Spanish speakers. She says it will be so nice to not have to translate for once.
My stomach dropped straight to hell.
I tried to gently say I am a little rusty. She laughs and says do not worry you are doing great.
I am not doing great. I am committing cultural fraud
I spent last night trying to speed run spanish on yt like I have an exam tomorrow. My search history is how to survive dinner in spanish and common phrases to impress mexican parents
I could come clean I know that but now it feels worse because I doubled down for two weeks. she keeps telling her cousins how cool it is that I speak spanish.
Tuesday is in 48 hours
TL;DR: told a girl I speak fluent spanish to impress her, have been secretly using translation apps and AI for two weeks now I am invited to a family dinner where nobody speaks eng and I am absolutely cooked