The simple answer is practice, practice writing while getting interfered with (like while you've got loud music on, or while watching something on TV)

The more complex answer is grab yourself a mini-recording device. Not one with AI though, that's stupid. Something simple like https://www.amazon.ca/Recorder-Playback-Tonnlog-1536Kbps-Activated/dp/B0D9NWQXSH/

Then you can just make a quick voice note, or record your meeting with someone (make sure this is legal in your jurisdiction, some places it isn't) and then you can play it back later to make proper notes.

I know it's not the advice you want, but have you considered working on your mental health? This sounds a lot like the byproduct of burnout or depression unless you're genuinely saying you have psychotic episodes in which case, mental health is all the more important.

I have two handwritings. The sloppy jot it down, and the somebody has to read this.

Slow down and "draw" your letters. It doesn't have to be perfect, but take your time and it will improve.

I have no idea what this is called, since I'm still new to Apple, but iPad has a handwriting correction feature in its Notes app. I recently had surgery on my dominant arm, so that feature really came in handy for taking notes at uni. I write in cursive with some mixed symbols and it's able to handle that.

Maybe when going for a mini laptop you can try finding a tablet that also allows for a Bluetooth keyboard, this way you get practice writing by hand but can swap to keyboard after some time.

Alternatively, you could try the Pomodoro method while writing. I find it helps when my adhd is too stronk

eat some mints, should help.

So either I write clearly then, but won’t be able to free-flow, because I strain on the writing, or it’s unreadable after.

From a shorthand user to another, don’t try to force those two things in the same process: free flowing, aka letting it go, and taking exact notes.

• don't try to write everything down. Exactly like when taking notes during a lecture or when doing an interview. Don’t transcribe: summarize, synthesize. When doing an interview, let the audio recorder do the absolutely boring (but still essential) job of being true to what the person is saying, allowing you to fully focus your attention on getting the important ideas jotted down as well as your own reactions to whatever they are telling you.
• As far as that 'free flow' state of mind is concerned: use it to, well, free flow which implies to not worry at all about transcribing it, at least imvho. Once again, only jot down key words, ideas, notions. Most of the time complete sentences won't be your friends at this moment. If you really fear losing that one good sentence (why bother? If it's good it will stick and if it is not good riddance) you may want to write and talk aloud at the same time, recording it as a backup.

I feel ya. I always have to go through and clean up my notes immediately when I can still recall what they may have meant, or the meaning will be lost to time.

I second the recording, it seems like the surest way to save your thoughts word for word but i personallydont like speakingout loud while thinking.

You can type your notes on your phone if you're as quick or quicker there than by hand. Autocorrect will mess up some words but those will probably be understandable through context rather than the whole sentence being unreadable.

Or try mind-mapping where you only have to write a few words and draw connections between them. This can take some time to practice, and you can figure out your own sort of shorthands for figures and imagery.

I also like bullet points, where I make sure to make key words readable and can add details that may or may not be legible, but the key words are likely to trigger the same thoughts later as when writing them down.

And always go through and clean up whatever notes or voice memos you take as soon as possible after when it's still relevant in your mind.

Would dictation work instead of writing? An old black berry with just a notes program may also be handy but IDK how easy it is to get your hands on that.

Best of luck!