My self loathing dropped dramatically when I figured out I had ADHD. I was no longer labeling myself lazy, wasted potential, or disrespectful. I was simply one with ADHD, a label that promised growth and compromise with myself if I put in the effort. Guides, therapy, and neat tips were unlocked by that diagnosis.
That comfortableness with neurodivergence lead me to trust my heart and my genderfluid tendencies. I don't have the ego to define myself without labels like these.