It looks practically pregnant with murderous potential

That looks very unhealthy. I want it.

I have never tasted a meatball that size that wasn't poorly cooked.

and the ones that I haven't tasted but have seen looked dry as fuck

I am skeptical

I don't want to imagine that cereal mascot

This isn't necessarily true. Italian meatballs are usually small, but polpette alla Napoletana are often on the larger side. You just need to be discerning. (The one pictured looks pretty mid and still too big.)

Fake: anon left the house. Gay: anon wanted more balls

Your assessment is wrong. Everything on 4chan is fake and gay

I always thought that song was so sad until recently when i looked up the full lyrics to the song and realized it had a happy ending.

The song was a parody of "On top of old smoky" and it was popularized by Tom Glazer who sang the song in 1963.

The lyrics he sang was

On top of spagetti all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed

It rolled off the table, it rolled on the floor.
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door

It rolled in the garden and under a bush.
And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty as tasty could be,
And early next summer it grew to a tree.

The tree was all covered with beautiful moss.
It grew great big meatballs and tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti all covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball and don't ever sneeze.

Whenever I've made homemade meatballs, we just bake them in the oven to cook, then either add to the sauce or serve separately.

I guess you'd just cook this monster like a lil meatloaf.

My nan got a recipe from this Italian lady, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. The recipe says to cook the sauce for one hour and then you add the meatballs and cook them for 1.5 hrs.

I would guarantee this thing is overcooked to hell, dry as a paper towel in the center. It probably swam in day-old red sauce in a pot for 90 minutes to prevent lawsuits, then cooled off, cooking another 20 holdover minutes. Then into the fridge to be microwaved when anon orders it.

i smoke my meatballs/MOINKs for about two hours at 225. they're about 2/3 that size. they typically don't have char marks, but they have smoke ring.

Americans only know chain restaurants smh in sadness