Hello Everyone,

TLDR; I heard someone mention “The male gaze” The female gaze” and am curious to hear what some of us think about what draws people to look at others. (Other than the obvious)

Lately, I have been online a lot less, but was exposed to hearing the terms during an argument between two passerbyers in Walmart.

However, occasionally I wonder why people bring up these terms so often in online circles. It seems a flash point for incels or overall digital mud slinging.

Unfortunately, I have never understood what healthy eye contact is like. I oftentimes feel I weird people out by not knowing how long I’m supposed to look at someone. Sometimes they don’t look at me at all, but rather past me, sometimes direct staring, and then sometimes there’s no pattern that I can find at all.

Especially nowadays, when it seems most people actively try not to look at each other in stores or even in classes when directly addressing each other.

Eye contact is something I don’t think I’ve ever done “correctly” but it feels odd in a different way than it historically has for me.

How do you all cope with eye contact? How do you make it as healthy as possible and are there any heuristics to improve your natural reaction to it? I’ve never quite understood why autistic brains avoid eye contact either.