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submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 48 points 2 months ago

Jesus has been pretty silent since that whole “death” thing. Like every other human.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Like every other human.

Why is only every other dead human silent? What about the other half?

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Not every human is silent after death. What about that time grave robbers stole Rasputin's body and heard it scream while they burned it?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

They must have been Sam & Dean, otherwise why burn it? 😂

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Okay, I laughed incredibly hard at this comment 😂

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Built up gasses lead to flatulence.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

If those zealots could read they’d be very upset…

[-] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

I saw one the other day: "I met Jesus in prison". Damn, what did he do?

[-] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago

He was getting deported for being an immigrant.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Well if the son of god had filed all the right paperwork and gone through the proper channels then he wouldn't be getting deported.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Reminds me of the clip I saw yesterday or day before where MAGATs actually said that they would welcome Jesus’ in US as long as he came legally.

Edit: found it https://youtube.com/shorts/0eBnr2sFyoI

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Holy shit. Really?!? Someone who is a supposed Christian is like, "Trump is righter than Jesus." The Onion was right these people are beyond parody.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Called them once when I was very bored. The person on the other side, refused to accept any bit of evidence. I asked him about queer youth suicide rates, his response "part of gods plan" or some kind of shit like that.

Like fuck off with that.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

If Jesus is to be believed like the man he was. No way he would give two shits about you changing genders. "Oh you want to change genders my child? Will you hurt anyone in the process?"

"No"

"Then go forth, son or daughter and bring light to the world"

MAGA- what a woke ass lib Jesus was.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Doubtful.

His culture was not kind to anything other than the approved gender norms.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I don't think Jesus ever personally weighs in on divorce. Or even war. But we know he hated wealth.

"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 19:24

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

What?

"What God has joined together, let not man separate" Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9) definitely refers to marriage and is the main reason behind the catholic/Protestant schism.

War is less explicit but there’s definitely a bunch of passages about non violence (e.g., the mountain speech).

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Mathew 10: 34 "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person's enemies will be those of his own household.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I mean it’s a death cult. Basically he has to separate and isolate his followers or else they’d start to catch on that he was taking advantage of them.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I think he rather said that with a cheesy car salesmen grin and a hand out.

“You have a problem. But I’ve got a solution… gimme yo money and just don’t be rich!”

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I think there is something about Jesus beating people like you with a whip until they left the church, is that what you're talking about?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

so much of the imperial interior is just miles and miles of deserted, fossil fuel industry scarred land and nothing but these imperial cult billboards and the occasional dead walmart town

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Obviously, blindly support MAGA without a spark of understanding of irony.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Is Jesus answering the phone?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Matthew 5:6 for context

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled."

Correct me if wrong but it has no relevance on the billboard which is hilarious.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I hunger for righteousness. Fill me up, daddy.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

They are being honest about preying on vulnerable people via religion, it seems.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

"Who you gonna call?!"

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I saw one from the same org that was openly supporting creationism and had the Ascent of Man crossed out, so I doubt you'll get anywhere with them if you do call.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Out of curiosity, is this image from Missouri? I swear I've seen that exact billboard ad on both I-70 and I-55.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Yes

Jesus says yes

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hmm. Is this like playing rock paper scissors with Jesus? I think Jesus will go with divorce, the opposite of which is wealth. Chose wealth!

this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
124 points (96.3% liked)

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