Do you have separate accounts? If she pays for her own meal with her own money, nbd. But I’m guessing since you’re planning a future together you’ll also be commingling your finances at some point (if you haven’t already), and with this in mind I urge you to have regular financial planning and check-in sessions with each other to mitigate frustrations over different spending habits.

I didn’t have parents who were great with money, and I don’t naturally have a great head for numbers, so when I got married I had a lot of learning to do. My husband is the complete opposite and stays on top of things much more than I do, but financial spending, saving, and planning are important to be on the same page about. Personally, if I know we’re saving money for a particular project or trip or something, I make much better choices in the moment.

In your specific situation, my advice would be to agree on an amount you want to spend on the outing beforehand so you’re on the same page. This still gives her the option to modify her order to her tastes, she just has parameters to work within. If she completely disregards that agreement, you can always step it up old school with the money-in-an-envelope method, where you can’t fall back on a debit or credit card if you “accidentally” go over (although if I were in your shoes going this route, I’d stash a card on me for emergencies, but make her sweat just enough she feels the burn of her mistake).

lol was that the chilis the three for me for $10.99? Literally when I got to chilis, I’ll get that $11 three for me, and my partner orders the salmon for like twice my meal. Very frustrating, but your situation is on another level... I have no advice other than don’t go through with the marriage if this is one of many, many things she does to induce “gritting of teeth.” Hopefully this is her like one quirk or something…

Just choose better restaurants that facilitate this type of ordering. You'll both be better off.

If expectations were set ahead of time, this sounds like a lot of fun.

Is the sex good at least? That’s the only reason I can see you staying with her.

Run my friend... run fast and do not stop until you're out of her reach!

btw: In restaurants à la carte is the practice of ordering individual dishes from a menu in a restaurant, as opposed to table d'hôte, where a set menu is offered. It is an early 19th century loanword from french meaning "according to the menu". Your fiancee acts like she's the queen.

RUN!

I do this - order a la carte and hold stuff. I try to be very nice about it. I don't want a 3 taco plate with rice and beans for $20, only to throw most of it away. I want a la carte one taco and rice. Everytime I get a salad without dressing, a burger without sauce, anything without cheese, etc., it gets questioned. Please stop trying to give me other dressings, different sauces, and cheese on everything. I get menu anxiety and usually check it before we go so I can make a plan, especially if we're dining with people I don't know well. Know that's it's frustrating for her too; extra frustrating if you're calling attention to it.

How is this a “good” off my chest?

Edit: Thanks for the downvotes you dumb fucks, way to explain your rationale and simply dismiss people. Real “good,” uplifting community here.

This is a red flag. Don't turn fiance to spouse until you really think about this or get her to corrupt it. Never going to dinner will make any future dates exceedingly difficult.

But honestly, if she has this red flag, there are likely a bunch of others you aren't seeing. The level of inconsideration she has to have to let her treat other people this way is exceedingly high. Not just how she's treating the wait staff, but the imposition placed on the cooks, as well as how the experience is affecting you. She's at best extremely thoughtless and inconsiderate.

Edit:or don't, divorce is available later if things bother you bad enough

I feel like this is a discussion you need to actually have with her