this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy

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Preferably the hell of the blood-soaked Bible

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

28.3168 liters of piss, addressed to Margret Thatcher.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (7 children)

I’ve heard people say the opposite, β€œwouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire”.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is my piss not supposed to be flammable?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You should use a condom next time

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

On fire is a good start

On fire and soaked in piss is better

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, hell is supposed to be forever. Eventually the liquid piss would evaporate, leaving behind solid compounds that, in my experience, would still smell quite bad. And then, she'd burst into flames again. Sounds like a win-win.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I was witness to what burnt piss does on a hot muffler.

It stinks, for miles. And months.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That U2 album that was included free with peoples iPhones that time.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

A cubesat with a full array of sensors because hell needs to be studied.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

American measurement systems

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Think of the money saved alone.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

how much is that in real units?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

A foot is like 30cm. So it's roughly 27000 cm^3 or 27 liters.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

finally a serious answer

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

About 0.5 bananasΒ³

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

glitter. nothing is as bad as glitter, it gets everywhere and is hard to clean

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's coarse and irritating and it gets everywhere

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

And even the women and the children...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

A care package for myself for when I get there.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Potatoes, wrapped in aluminum foil. Maybe some other veggies too.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Add some broth, baby you got a stew going!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I haven't yet decided between:

  • A self-addressed, postage prepaid box about 11.75" on a side. (Who knows what I'd get!)
  • One of these but with holy water, incense, and gregorian chants instead of glitter, stink spray, and countdown timers.
  • A copy of the Assassin's Creed movie with a note attached: "here, you can have this back."
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

a black hole

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Camera and batteries. Turn it on and send it. I'm about to host the hottest twitch stream.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Hell has wifi? Sure. Why not?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

There's definitely wifi and printers in hell.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, but its 2.4 only and stops working everytime Satan microwaves the outer layers of a frozen pizza pop.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

And he rotates the password every hour

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

A bunch of battery powered fans and batteries

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's going to hell, so I would put in dead batteries.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

i'd mix in some living ones too in a 10:1 ratio (of which order will be randomly decided)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Ice water because Mallory Archer told me that's what people there want

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

The asshole who invented the β€œreply all” button…

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

What's in the box???

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

The entrails of the last priest.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Nearly 7.5 gallons of Sagittarius A*

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One essential organ of as many influential fascists as will fit. I'm thinking brain stem. That's smaller than a heart or spine

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Just the middle 2 cm of the aorta will do.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

A snow cone machine. I might be mean.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago
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