I could deal with the beak, but what about not being able to digest everything you eat and you gotta periodically cough up a turd.

Crows are pretty good at doing beak stuff

It also grows so if you don’t have the proper diet it can get all out whack and overgrown so you can’t eat properly and then your quality of life is wrecked and in extreme cases you starve

To complicate the matter it’s not like a tooth, it’s more like a dog or cats nail in that it has blood vessels running through it, so if the above happens you can’t just trim it back haphazardly because then you might be seriously hurt or even killed

Owning birds is fucked up. Like a domesticated dog is one thing and still somewhat debatable philosophically but taking a bird that can literally fly, often lives 40-80 years (if we’re talking parrots), is a social animal by nature that typically exists in a flock, demands attention and stimulation for many hours of the day, and then putting it in a cage so you can like look at it is just inherently cruel. If I come to your house and you have a bird I judge you

Whatever, you're just mad you can't stab people with your face

and the beak is just for acquiring and shearing stuff, they chew their food in their tum tum with mechanical assistance from a bunch of grit and rocks in a pouch they contract against what they've swallowed, to mash it up.

I like to chew food in my mouth, tyvm, as the Lord Christ Almighty intended when he personally intelligently designed my unbeaked face.

Idk i fuck up eating plenty, biting my lip accidentally or tongue. Coughing while talking and eating. A beak sounds pretty simple by comparison

Look at me I'm a hummingbird my whole shit's stupid

Sounds like a skill issue on your part. Have you ever seen a bird do things with their beaks? Their beaks are very clever and dexterous. Watch them preen their feathers! You couldn't do that with fingers.

Counterpoint: I got five fillings in my teeth last week

A decent sized beak seems okay, there are tradeoffs but something like a parrot beak would be great. A fifth limb for climbing and holding things, plus you can rip and tear

take it back. all of gods creatures are perfect. a beak is as beautiful as a nice smile on a pretty face, as pleasing as balls so big they could serve as poop platters

Pileated Woodpeckers are cool though they stab the tree at high speeds and get those bugs.

You mean BUILT IN CHOPSTICKS? Sign me up. I'm sure we'd adapt soon enough.