Fun story time: I once got informed of a drug test for a job I'd just accepted after a weekend of hard partying. I was on prescription opiods, Adderall, and ketamine. They called Monday morning at 9 to tell me I had to piss within 4 hours. I hadn't even slept yet. I should have lit that test up like a Christmas tree for everything except thc. It came back clean. They never asked about my prescriptions. I have 2 theories. 1) they don't actually test. 2) if too many things light up, they assume it's a calibration issue.

They test for "ecstacy", the street name, not "MDMA" the official name? Where did he get these test results from, his dealer?

Opiates are tested, and oxycodone? But oxycodone is an opiate. Is this list created by chatgpt?

It says it was a urine sample. As if the richest man in the world cannot get a clean urine sample from someone. It's probably from the only kid he gives attention (to block snipers when he's out in the open). That's probably why the kid punched him in the face. Because daddy wanted to touch his pipi.

Yelp for this place

and the two reviews that it has

Most of these drugs are pretty much undetectable after abstaining for a few days. Big deal. Negative cannabis use surprised me a little but he probably left it behind when he picked up his ketamine binge. That said who the hell advertises their test results like this wtf?

Like when Fox News got their hands on 40,000 hours of January 6 footage, and edited a 2 minute montage of people being not committing mayhem, and then used that carefully edited clip to claim the allegations of violence were liberal lies.

This is as legitimate as his Path of Exile account.

How did this dud ever get mistaken for a genius?

Can we overlook the potential fact that he's not on drugs and focus on him admitting that he acts the way he acts WITHOUT drugs as an excuse?

He must really think we are all as dumb as he is.

One study published in the International Journal of Legal Medicine found that ketamine can be detected in hair up to 4 months after a single dose.11 Ketamine and its metabolites were also detected in scalp samples collected by a wet cotton swab up to 48 hours after administration of the drug. In a study of urine samples collected from hospitalized children who had received ketamine as an anesthetic, ketamine could be detected in the urine up to 11 days after drug administration and its metabolites could be detected for up to 14 days.12

https://americanaddictioncenters.org/ketamine-abuse/how-long-does-ketamine-stay-in-your-system

So he went 11 days free of ketamine?

If he has not enough computer skills to fake such a document, he probably has someone who can. Just like has people playing games for him.

Everyone says he is high, he is visibly high, and he admits to doing drugs on the regular... Clean drug screen!? How fucking stupid does he think everyone is.

Well I didn't see him piss in the cup so I refuse to believe this. We must see him pee to ensure he didn't use a bag of piss.

“There is no quicker way for people to think that you are diddling kids than by writing a song about it!”

First thing that came to mind.

Oh great, a screenshot posted by the guy known to pay people to pretend to be him being good at games, who has spent the last few years— damn I mean the last few months, trying to see whether he can set the bar higher for destroying net worth or the lives of uncountable people all over the world.

Well, as much as I'd love to believe him, I can't. I start immediately asking questions, like, why is every word either all caps or start with a capital letter except for the word "negative"? Could be the way that lab does it, but almost nowhere else seems to.

So we’re just supposed to believe that the richest man on earth can’t just make up a form, pay wm employee for clean urine, or just pay off the doctor

I thought he was on record saying that he regularly takes ketamine therapeutically.

Gosh that labs phone number is right there huh. Kinda tempted to call and ask about it, since he's made this public and all...

Ketamine goes away in 4-8 hours for most people.

I really don't care, but if we're playing this game, could we get a hair test?

I wonder who's piss he used?

I used to do a handful of various substances daily. I passed every single urinalysis I took and I was high out of my mind when I would take them it's called OPP

Ya down with OPP ?!

Yeah! You Know Me !

Edit: I knew how to do drugs and never acted like this dummy. Not once !

The fact that this list says there’s no ketamine in his system, makes it super suspicious.

If the claim is that his obnoxious behaviour is nothing to do with his drug habit, I'm prepared to accept that.

Grok, how long does it take for all the drugs in this report to clear your system?

So, he's just naturally that stupid and weird?!?!