Fiiiine, but you'll have to settle for a hand job.

FBI? not where I live!

(Laughs maniacally in hetero.)

Ompossumble! I've never felt like this before

Oh yeah

Let's see which companies were doing it for the goodness of their hearts

Or just avoiding being cancelled and a backlash for being accused of something they are not

I intend to be in the middle of a circle of dicks by this evening. Someone needs to buy alcohol to help me perform.

And ICE stands ready to make anyone who was not reported disappear.

Jokes on you, I'm so scarred from my divorce, you wouldn't realize I'm secretly straight.