281
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 44 points 2 days ago

What good is the 200 million then

[-] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago

You only have to do it for 2 days. Just put yourself into a medically induced coma for 2 days. Its easy money.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 2 days ago

Hard dilemma ... Do you guarantee that the table will not change dimensions in those 2 days?
Needs some planning, there might be ways to avoid measuring a table for a while.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

For a while, maybe, but two whole days?

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Ask someone else to measure it for me

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

"Uhh.... it's a little over the line, so that's a half? So is that twenty three, one slash four, and a half?"

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Sounds close enough to me! I'll double-check in a few days if I need to, I appreciate your help! Here's $10, buy yourself a banana

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

This physically hurts me

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Hate to break it to you, it’s out of tolerance, time for that non-conformance report.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Pay em a buck

[-] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago

No. It's not worth the lasting damage it would cause. You'll need to live with it for the rest of your life.

All the people answering "yes" so confidently are severely underestimating the life-altering consequences this sort of trauma can cause. No amount of money would ever fix it.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

I can’t know how to hear more about tables!

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Nooo, my database is fucked!

[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago

Wait, you guys measure tables?

I just eat off them

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

For 200m I could just hide in bed for a few days.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

I can still measure other things, tho, right?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Bring it on

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

I'll just pay someone else to measure it.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

Look, if I can't slap my dick down on the table, life isn't worth living. And, by definition, that is a form of dick measuring. Since it measures the dick against the table, the table is therefore measured against the dick.

However! If someone would volunteer to be a flesh table for the period of the no-table-measuring, that would be acceptable. If I can measure my dick against someone's shoulders or hips, problem solved, and I'm 200 mil richer.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

I was actually measuring my desk today as I want to fit a draw under it.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)
[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Must be a small desk to only fit a draw. Larger ones can fit drawer. Industrial sized ones fit drawest.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

36 hours in and I would think I'm in the clear then someone would need some real help, like loading their truck to move some stuff for their kids party and ask me, "think it will all fit?" In that moment reflexes would lose the money.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Order 200m worth of tables demand 3 day delivery

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

maybe i'm a fool, but i think i might be able to do it...

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Worth a shot, eh?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Depends which table

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

So no bananas for a couple days...

Sounds killer, but I'm up for the challenge

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

what if I don't use a tape measure?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Rogal Dorn, is that you?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

If the width and the hight of the table... Hold on... Oh crap i already lost the money.

this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2025
281 points (92.2% liked)

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