I don’t even know anymore (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 6 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Between my PTSD and my bipolar, I don’t know what the hell is going on. I recently started taking new medication for bipolar.

I seem to get easily attached and have abandonment issues, to the point where I get sad and assume my attachment (or GF right now) doesn’t love me anymore because they’re hanging out with their friends. I know they still love me, and I know they won’t leave me, but some part of me thinks they will because that’s how I’ve been “abandoned” and later cheated on.

I can go from thinking someone’s absolutely great and loving them to thinking they hate me and want me to suffer. But then I try to regulate myself and convince myself they don’t. I’m working on it. I’m talking to a psychiatrist.

I don’t know. I was suspected to have BPD due to having certain “personas” I would have, fear of abandonment, etc. but I don’t know if I do and haven’t been diagnosed with it. I used to hate that and would be in denial because I thought all BPD patients were narcissistic or abusers.

I know better now.

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[-] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

It's nuts how deeply cheating destroys people and everyone just treats it like a passing insult. Old me will never exist again. I'll never be able to love and trust the same. It's personality death. Cheaters can just slither around hiding their past from their future and if you publicly talk about your trauma there is a good chance you will get slapped with slander. Evil is a fundamental force and the foundation of existence.

[-] relation_anon4238 4 points 6 days ago

Sounds a lot like me, actually with my fiancé. Wish you a safe and speedy journey!

[-] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

I'm glad you posted, it's not good to let all that swim in your head, without having a place to vent.

I understand where you're at with your thought process, I've been there a million times. You gotta avoid those thinking traps. Personally the best way around that is to talk to your GF about what's going on. Explain everything, maybe even let her read this post. When people that care about you understand what you're going through, it helps them better prepair to be there for you.

You've got this.

this post was submitted on 24 May 2025

17 points (100.0% liked)

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