This is a comic strip:  A man is riding his bicycle along a sparsely populated area.  Suddenly, he rides straight through a glowing portal and crashes into two aliens in a brightly lit, psychedelic space. Everyone ends up in a heap.  The man says, "SORRY! SORRY!" One alien replies, "IT’S OKAY." The other adds, "WE’RE FINE. WE’RE PURE ENERGY, SO…"  He says, "YOU'RE... WHAT?!?"  One alien responds, "RELAX, WE'RE JUST HYPERSPACE BEINGS DOING A ROUTINE CHECKUP OF YOUR UNIVERSE." The man, still stunned, says, "HYPERSPACE? CHECKUP? MY UNIVERSE? WHAT?!?!?"  The alien explains, "OKAY, LOOK... WE’RE IN THE BUSINESS OF ON-DEMAND SELECTIVE QUANTUM PROBABILITY WAVE COLLAPSING."  The alien continues, "IF ONE OF OUR CLIENTS HAS TO MAKE A BIG DECISION WITH HUGE CONSEQUENCES, WE COLLAPSE THE WAVE FUNCTIONS OF CERTAIN CHOICES, SPLITTING THE TIMELINES AND CREATE PARALLEL UNIVERSES, WHERE THESE CHOICES PLAY OUT NATURALLY…"  "...AND THEN WE ‘TRAVEL BACK IN TIME,’ AS YOU WOULD CALL IT, AND REPORT THE RESULTS BACK TO OUR CLIENT."  The man says, "OH WOW! THAT’S AMAZING!" He then adds, "SO WE COULD HAVE YOU GUYS MAKE A UNIVERSE WHERE THE HUMAN RACE DOES A WHOLE BUNCH OF DUMB STUFF, MAKES A TON OF BAD DECISIONS AND THEN YOU CAN TELL US HOW HORRIBLE IT ALL WENT IN THE END?"  Both aliens laugh.  One alien pats the man on the head. The alien says, "GUESS WHICH UNIVERSE YOU ARE IN, BOOBSIE."

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[–] 40 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This is already being done on Earth, by hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings; otherwise known as mice.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I'm a simple man. I see a Hitchhiker's Guide reference, I upvote it.

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  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I think I would actually feel better about that

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    that would at least be a reasonable explanation as to why so many stupid things are happening at once

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago

    More or less the plot of William Gibson's book " peripheral". The TV adaption is not bad either.

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    @CustardFist Thanks for the OC, I like it. 👍

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Yes yes, we're on the worst timeline. That's no excuse for mockery

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    If they are collapsing all other possibilities wouldn't that reality be required to be the only reality making time travel impossible because there future selves didn't exist in the one reality that they didn't collapse? Unless we are saying that more than one type of time travel multi dimensional splitting exists in this universe and in this universe of time traveling quantum beings from an alternate universe, I'm just not willing to suspend my disbelief that much.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Nothing so complicated. They just split the timeline into two. The first, they leave untouched. The second, they make their pitch about multiversal simulation results. If someone bites, they then use that untouched branch to simulate the bad decisions. Then they bring those results over to the first timeline and get their pay.

    If theyre shitty at their jobs they just leave those bad decision timelines laying around until they eventually collapse, but a good timeline simulator will usually clean up after themselves.

    "Collapsing the timelines" in this case is just pruning the results to show only what the client is after. It's a major part of journeyman timeline simulators job to learn how to do effectively.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    But quantum probably fields have to either exist in all possible states while not collapsed or the one state after it collapse or else you would have potentially infinite matter from finite matter. Which would instantaneously turn every spot in the multiverse into a blackhole.

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