Does this sound like dissociating or something else? (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

10 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I struggle to do things in silence. Earlier today, I was unable to cook for almost thirty minutes because I couldn't find something to listen to. Like I didn't start until I could find something to settle on.

Before starting something, I usually try to check in with someone or I'll start up a chat. I don't have the bandwidth to long.

Other times I'll have my laptop with a document on one side of the screen with a movie on the other. With a switch nearby, my phone in my hand, and I'm trying to eat a meal.

I have these rich fantasy worlds I'll daydream in. Like legit world building where I need things to make sense.

It feels like I'm distracting myself from my life sometimes. I'm not in a great place, and I know I'd start tasks when I'm stressed. Sometimes I'll drop make plans and then drop them immediately. Other times I'll freeze and stall before making a decision.

On one hand, I think this is a form of dissociation, given my trauma history. I'm just disengaged and I don't feel motivated to take action.

I also think it might be autism. I'll let myself get lost in rabbit holes that interest me and I'm very particular.

I also don't know if this is adhd. The multitasking and keeping busy feel in line. I struggled to pay attention in school, but I don't know if that was stress or something else.

I feel a lot of shame around this and wonder if these are traits of narcissism. I'm absent minded with being on time for other people, and I feel like using people distract myself is wrong.

I'm asking this because I want to properly identify how my actions may be read so that I can communicate better. Any literature, feedback, or advice is welcome.

top 10 comments

sorted by: hot top new old

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

first bit sounds like being understimulated, which'd probably be an ADHD thing

I have these rich fantasy worlds I'll daydream in. Like legit world building where I need things to make sense.

if you're daydreaming a lot and it gets in the way of functioning, it could be maladaptive daydreaming. if you just do it for fun and it doesn't, then that's just pretty normal

It feels like I'm distracting myself from my life sometimes. I'm not in a great place, and I know I'd start tasks when I'm stressed. Sometimes I'll drop make plans and then drop them immediately. Other times I'll freeze and stall before making a decision.

I do this too, for me it's that i get super anxious about low-productivity when im anxious, so i try to do something, but then physically cannot focus due to the anxiety

i have disassociative identity disorder, so i have a lot of experience with disassociation. personally none of this feels similar to me, aside from the daydreaming (but that's coupled with other symptoms). needing to do things in silence, for example, is the exact opposite for me. when im dissociating i prefer silence, and then i kinda blank on what im doing and then it's done. since i have pretty hardcore amnesia barriers that might just be me, though

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you for your insight. I think dissociation because I really don't want to feel or process what I'm going through. But maybe that's inaccurate. But it's like I want to be anywhere but where I am in my body.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Yea that feeling sounds more along the lines of understimulation to me. I feel more passive when i disassociate

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

This sounds very much like what my spouse deals with: ADHD with CPTSD.

I've found this couple to be really informative: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_love?lang=en

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I feel like you're describing me and I just have adhd. I mean, I say "just" adhd, but in a way that's like "at least this stuff probably stems from just one cause instead of several." Half of these things are textbook procrastination, some of them are you seeking "white noise" to block out further distractions, the decision paralysis/perfectionism, the powerful daydreaming, needing either looming deadlines or genuine interest to get shit done. It me, all of it.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I understand what you mean, and thank you. Have you found things that make the procrastination less of a problem?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

So for me it's getting started that's the hard part, if I can get over that hump then that job or whatever has now become The Thing I'm Doing and it's easier to keep going than it is to start doing something else. Like, wherever it makes sense to do so, I try to append things to an existing routine so that it becomes a habitual "oh that's just the thing that comes next" and I can autopilot 5-10 minutes deep. Basically figuring out ways to avoid thinking too hard about what I have to do next, because thinking about what I have to do next is when the procrastination happens.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Hey I do that too, am I okay??

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Is it getting in the way of things you need to do, want to do, or your relationships?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Agreeing with other comments it sounds like you’re describing a bunch of the lesser-known aspects of ADHD. Even the narcissism anxiety and the mania feel pretty on brand for what I’ve experienced personally and what my loved ones with ADHD have said and done.

What’s your caffeine intake like? Your sleep schedule? Maybe see if you can get diagnosed and try medication if you want but I think you’ll be surprised by how effective basic things can be for helping you feel grounded. Things like eating enough, taking multivitamin, regularly working out (literally anything that elevates your heart rate), and sleeping as regularly as you can (I can’t but I try).

this post was submitted on 17 May 2025

20 points (100.0% liked)

neurodiverse

1858 readers

2 users here now

What is Neurodivergence?

It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc

“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”

So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned

Rules

1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them

2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence

2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals

3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.

3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith

4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!

Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input

RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed

founded 4 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]