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[–] 104 points 1 year ago (2 children)

More like ..... I own the sugar plantation so I can use as much sugar as I want .... I can dump so much sugar into my lemon flavored water that it will be like selling crack to children. Once they're hooked, these kids will beg their parents to buy my stuff for cheap .... for the rest of their lives!

The sugar laden crap I get them hooked on also causes diabetes which is why I also own the diabetes medication pharmaceutical where these kids will buy their drugs as diabetic adults.

I'll make money on these dumb kids through every stage of their miserable lives.

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  • [–] 60 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    "We are in fact the same company"

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  • [–] 36 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    That was honestly pretty nice of the first guy to not use piss.

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  • [–] 30 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Competitions end. And when competitions end in a world where everything is "run like a business," the winners are not handed medals, but monopolies.

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  • [–] 29 points 1 year ago (9 children)

    Trying to explain this to people I know is nearly impossible. They always think "but when I'm rich I want all the money and no regulation!" Well guess what you work at Walmart and will never be rich so I guess let yourself get endlessly exploited then. There is no ethical billionaire. Maybe not even millionaire tbh.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    As things are, every Millennial and anyone in a later generation is going to have to be a millionaire to retire to a reasonable level of comfort. It could also be true that there are no ethical millionaires. Where does that leave us?

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Can't speak for y'all, but I'm firmly in "will never be able to retire" territory.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Ditto. I am putting money away in my 401k like a good little citizen but I have no clue how that money will EVER be enough to support myself (not to mention any one else I might have around) in my old age.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    At this point I don't even consider 50 million net worth "rich". There are 2 classes of people. Billionaires and their cronies, and everybody else.

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    [–] 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Shout out to the $8 quart of ice water with half a lemon in it sold as "lemonade" at last year's ren faire. Though I did get lemon-flavored melted ice for the next few hours out of the deal.

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  • [–] 20 points 1 year ago

    Enshittification

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  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    There's more lemonade by volume in Lemon Pledge furniture polish than in Country Time Lemonade.

    [That's why the small print says "Lemonade flavored drink"]

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago

    Every capitalist wants to invest as little and profit as much as possible.

    • A history of the world in seven cheap things (p.21)
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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Should have an intermediate step where one of the competitors beats the other. Then the third should have only the remaining one, now big, and selling worse lemonade.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Or they merge lemonade stands

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  • [+] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
    [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    It should be "I used water, corn syrup, and yellow dye #65“ VS "I used piss." Only "organics" use some of the real stuff, with some "natural" flavors.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (13 children)

    which is why we need anti piss-in-lemonade laws and limits on how much water there can be for a given number of lemons.

    we don't need to remove capitalism, instead we can restrain it from harming people

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  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago

    Part of me agrees with you. The other part of me knows how well capitalism can pivot so much quicker than laws can be made to curtail the bad practices, that the system seems to be the issue. Maybe the government is the issue too, but it's a lot of bad faith companies that ruins the bunch. Forward thinking and progressive thinking with quick measured action could do it, but most people who are elected aren't capable of that or are too compromised to make anything work.

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Regulation could keep capitalism in check.

    In reality capitalists use their money to make and change laws through lobbyists or bribes, and by propaganda through owning all media.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    Recent willy Wonka movie did a great job with this

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    Where the fuck do you think fentanyl comes from?

    RIP Gary Webb

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  • [+] 1 point 1 year ago