this post was submitted on 11 May 2025
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So, I've been chatting with my buddies lately, and it's turned into a bunch of debates about right and wrong. I think I have a pretty solid moral compass, I'm not bragging haha, but most people I know can't really explain why something's right or wrong without getting all circular or contradicting themselves.

So, how do you figure out what to do? No judgment, just curious. I'll share my thoughts below.

Thanks!

Edit: Oh, all you lil' philosophers have brought me a cornicopia of thoughts and ideas. I'm going to take my time responding, I'm like Treebeard, never wanna be hasty.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Pee when you have the chance.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

When going out into the cold during the winter, especially if you are going on a bit of multi hour journey .... poop first, even if you don't feel like it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

How do you poop when you don't feel like it?

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)
  • don't be an asshole
  • everything is allowed as long as nobody is getting hurt
  • act when you see something wrong
  • when you are able to help do so
  • in all other cases mind your own business
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

everything is allowed as long as nobody is getting hurt

Context is important here. Oftentimes someone is getting hurt, you just don't know who or when. A very fine line on this bullet.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's worse than that. Situations where something causes no harm to literally anyone are few and far between. Even less often you have a full and clear picture of a situation. Usually it's a choice between who gets hurt to what extent and based on what you know you just try to minimize the damage. You will get it wrong a lot.

Life is complicated and all we can do is to try our best and hope others will too.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Very well put

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

The Parable of the Teacup

"Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"

"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"

The Parable of the Strawberry

"A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!"

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 days ago (6 children)

Leave a better world behind than you entered (to the extent you are able to as an individual).

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

The cub scouts have a rule: leave the camp better than you found it

It's a great rule to apply to everything in your life. Small improvements add up over time and benefit those who come after

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

For the last year or so I've just been trying not to kill myself

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Pushing 4 decades, and the older I get the more I try to live by a philosophy of: be the person you wish you had when you were in their shoes.

Biggest thing is school right now: I did the college thing a bit a long time ago, struggled academically and financially, joined the military instead, separated, and now I'm back for round 2 using the GI Bill. I try to generate as many resources for my classmates as possible, run study groups, host group chats, send out reminders... The VA gives me a stipend for supplies each semester, which I'll use in it's entirety and give those supplies to the class. At clinicals (on-the-job education - nursing school) I've noticed a few students don't eat cuz weren't able to pack a lunch and hospital cafeteria food is WAY expensive for the average broke-ass college student, so I'll cover the odd meal and tell em to just pay it forward once they get their RN. Shit like that. Kinda feels like I have 50 sons and daughters lol. But I remember my first attempt at college and how overwhelming everything felt... idk if having a 'me' would have made any difference in the outcome of round 1 - can't make the horse drink and all - but if I can hook these kids up with an easier ride, then fuck yeah I'll do what I can!

I try to apply that kind of approach to pretty much any context - be it school, work, or just random encounters with people.

Feels good to be helpful.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago

My ethos boils down to…

  1. The Golden Rule: Your rights end where other’s rights begin, and vice versa. 
  2. Natural Rights: Any action or inaction, thought, or word, spoken or written, that does not cross the line of the Golden Rule is a natural right.
  3. Ethics: All ethics are founded upon, and entirely dependent upon, points 1 & 2.
  4. Morality Is Unethical: Morality, allowing for arbitrary precepts, is inherently unethical. 
  5. Effort: Strive to live ethically.
  6. Inaction is Action: Inaction is, itself, an action. If your inaction results (even indirectly) in someone’s natural rights being infringed, your inaction is unethical.
  7. Consideration: Actions often have cascading, indirect consequences, and you bear full responsibility for them. Therefore, failure to consider the indirect consequences of your (in)actions is also unethical.
  8. Graciousness: Treat others the way they wish to be treated. Recognize the dividends that gracious behavior has on preserving the natural rights of both yourself and others.
  9. Defend the Social Contract: Ethical behavior is a contract between individuals. Aggressors and instigators who violate that contract are not subject to its protections. As such, adherents are obliged to defend both themselves and others from such infringements to preserve the greater social stability.
  10. Imperfection: Acknowledge that no body, no thing, and no system is perfect. Not you, not others, not nature, not these precepts. Mistakes are inevitable, it is the effort and intention that matters. Accept and treasure imperfection, and be faithful to the spirit rather than the letter.
[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

A good starting place is considering what society would look like if everyone did whatever thing.

Everyone steals - doesn't work

Everyone murders - dosen't work

ect.

Another approach is the Terry Pratchett argument that everything boils down to just not treating people like things.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Try to make life better for yourself and for everyone else. Try to have compassion for everyone. You don't have to agree with them or support what they do, but treat them as having worth.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Don't be a dick.

Number one rule I have.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Beat me to it.

Don’t be a dick, don’t make anyone’s life worse out of indifference or even temporary malice, don’t make your own life harder because of the aforementioned, and the greatest accomplishment would be to make someone else’s life measurably, permanently better and have no need of credit or compensation for the act.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago (7 children)

From an old Irish friend I've known for many years

Whatever you do in life, no matter the situation or circumstances ..... always be kind

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind."

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Never drink alcohol alone.

That doesn’t save me from bad environment, but it prevents a Huge otherwise potential risk

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Stoic and Buddhist philosophy. No religious metaphysical stuff like gods, spirits or reincarnation.

On a basic level be kind and accept impermanence.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Do no harm but take no shit.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Everyone here is saying "don't be a dick". That is not sufficient. That just makes you middling, not good. To be good, you must also stop people who ARE being dicks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Do whatever you want, as long as it doesn't harm others.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

I try to live my life happily while causing the least negative impact for others.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Any morale principle must to be able to be universally applied to be valid. This translate in not asking for others what I won't do myself. And judging hardly those who ask for rules that don't apply to themselves.

That simple principle can construct a lot if you develop it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

This is one of the biggest problems going on right now. That people don't have a knowledge of their own morality, not in any tangible, processed way. People resort to following a person who they believe has the morality they seek, but their own decisions are actually based on a combo of feelings and whatever dogma they may have with no real analysis or improvement being done with any consistency. It would fix a hell of a lot of problems if your average person was breaking down the implications of their own morality and developing a defensible philosophical position. For most I observe that is farther than the average person is willing to parse. It seems that this has led many to base essentially their entire philosophy of right vs wrong (as far as they can actually explain it without just saying "God") on a series of impactful sounding, but ultimately hollow, sound bites or snappy retorts that don't have any actual substance.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

To crush your enemies, See them driven before you, And to hear the lamentation of their women.

Conquer the things stopping you from what you want to do. This can be poverty, people, or circumstance. See those things that you have beaten lie at your feet, and revel in the outcries of the things that you now have bested.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Be kind to others and let go of attachments. Have lived a very happy and successful life by doing just those two things.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Honesty, fairness, integrity.

I don’t lie - ever. Not even white lies. I might not always say what I think, but I never say something I know to be untrue.

I treat others the way I’d want to be treated myself. Even when it comes to decisions where no one else is directly involved, I ask myself: Would the world be better or worse if everyone acted like this? If the answer is worse, I don’t do it.

Don't be a hypocrite. I won’t criticize others for something I’m guilty of myself - which is probably why you rarely hear me criticizing anyone at all.

Also, I don't believe in free will - as in the ability to have done otherwise. That's the other reason I don't blame people for their actions. This is something that just overall plays a huge factor in how I approach life. There are many things I see completely differently than most other people - including myself.

A related quote: “It’s not a principle if it’s not costing you anything.”

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

don’t lie - ever

That can be dangerous advice in some contexts. Like if you're an immigrant being confronted by an ICE agent, say whatever you need to say to get the fuck out of there.

Basically if a Nazi asks if you're a Jew, the answer is ALWAYS 'no' regardless of whether or not that's true.

I won’t criticize others for something I’m guilty of myself

Often it takes seeing other people engaging in a habit that you share to realize or accept it's a bad one: criticism can still be warranted and constructive, but in that case I'd own the complicity openly and direct the criticism to 'we'. Introspection is good!

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Try to be as unlike the cuurent US administration as possible?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Not if youre being a cunt.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Logic is the wrong tool for ethics. In formal logic, you can only assign values like true or false to something called "descriptive statements". These are statements of fact, that can be observed.

Morality deals with "prescriptive" statements. Unobservable and unstable statements about how the world ought to be.

Logic breaks down because it's impossible to argue for something that should be using only facts about how thing are.

The prescriptive statement "it's wrong to harm" relies on the prescriptive statement "harm is bad". Their is no bottom to it.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

Don't be a dick.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Most other animals develop rapidly from birth to self sufficiency, while humans are born so very unfinished - totally dependent on others for our most basic needs, for years and years. If any values can be said to resonate with "human nature", it's prosocial and community-building values.

Just about every major religion glorifies some version of The Golden Rule - do unto others as ye would be done by.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

To paraphrase Dr. Who, this has always stuck with me: Never be cruel, never be cowardly. Remember – hate is always foolish…and love, is always wise. Always try to be nice, and never fail to be kind.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

There is no such thing as objective morality. Being moral is a matter of will and character—consciously choosing what kind of person you want to be. I want to be the kind of person that brings pleasure into the world, and so I am a utilitarian.

Edit: And I'm not saying that I am fulfilling that adequately at all. Any coherent moral stance usually has implications which are "undesirable". If I were truly utilitarian, I should probably be donating money to the global south, and so should anyone else who claims to be moral.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago
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