1125
Pets (slrpnk.net)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
top 27 comments
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[-] [email protected] 118 points 2 months ago

"Its shitposting all over the carpet. And you think thats cute?"

[-] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

now it's reposting it all over the place. honey, i think we should call the vet.

[-] [email protected] 80 points 2 months ago

I would totally be happy being a robot's pet. I bet they'd give me a great gaming PC if I promised not to pee on the sofa.

[-] [email protected] 78 points 2 months ago

Nah, my luck I end up adopted by some redneck robot, like the ones that build trucks or something, and I have to live chained to a tree, sleeping in an old tractor tire.

[-] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago

if I promised not to pee on the sofa.

There's always some over the top requirements!

[-] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Well there are other ways to mark my territory, to be fair.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

We didn't invent Cheetos stains for nothing. It's a strong marker.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Or more fun ways. Like cumming on the sofa.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Found JD Vance’s Lemmy account!

[-] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago

Sometimes I get sad I have no one with this kind of humor and the language skills to share memes like this with.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

You can send them to me. I love this kinda stuff.

[-] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago

You gotta get that human a second human, they're so much easier to take care of when there's two of them! Make sure they're neutered though, don't want to take care of a litter!

[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

Also, don't mind the constant humping

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Only if both humans consent! Otherwise you might need to separate them or keep a spray bottle handy to stop the behavior!

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

How would you know? It’s not like their thinking units have inter-robot wireless link modules. They just make cute sounds with their ingest cloacae. We really need to stop robotomorphising the humans, acting like they’re capable of such abstract concepts, and imposing our advanced moral systems on them. They have non-consensual interactions all the time, it’s in their nature.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I'm hoping this is partly a Porno for Pyros reference.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

My bots always try to get me to buy micro transactions and toxic radioactive herbal medicine from China.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I have started actively refusing games with microtransactions and it's great

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

But that black salve seems so efficient in removing blemishes (by dissolving the top skin layers)

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

A human on a leash walks past another human on a leash. They lock eyes on their t-shirts.

"Team Jacob sucks!"
"No, Team Edward sucks harder!"
"Jacob sucks the most!"
"Edward was sucking before Jacob was even born!"
"Jacob sucks more in a single year than Edward sucks in several extended lifetimes!"
"Edward sucks full time though, whereas Jacob only sucks part-time!"
... etc

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I'm gonna get an upvote cat toy and wave it at the puppygirls

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Where do I sign up?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

moby from brainpop if he didn't have paint

this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
1125 points (99.2% liked)

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