Hey all, I am locking this post. Here is the bottom line. Blahaj is a trans safe instance. Regardless of your personal opinion on whether a term is gender neutral or not, the moment someone tells you that they are not OK with that term, that should be the end of the debate. This is a good rule not only in Blahaj but in real life. Continuing to argue with someone about what they should or should not accept in this matter is harmful.

I still think guy/dude is gender neutral. Call it the Good Burger principle:

“I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes… HEY!”

Soooo much appreciation for this 🩷 I think I'll forever mentally twitch when people use dude, man, mate, bro, etc. towards me. I totally know it's done in a gender neutral way, but I still feel a small pang in my heart.

Honestly in my social circle "Dude" has basically become gender neutral.

Yeah I'm terrible at this. Almost put man in this sentance twice. I don't stop myself unless explicitly asked as it would be quite patronizing to treat them like they're somehow different than all the other women I call man or my guy however but when asked it's hard to stop. I do my best though

As a transfem, I definitely appreciate this.

I used to use "man" in a gender neutral way a lot. Like "hey man" or "what's up man". Probably a '90s kid thing. But here's the thing, it's not about how I feel about the word. It's about how the person getting called that word feels about it. So I've made a conscious effort to stop using it. It's really not difficult to not be a selfish asshole.

These days, the only person I still say "hey man" to is my weed guy.

Is it weird that I'm a Trans girl and I still use dude like so much?

And yet when other people use it for me, I feel like I have to ask how they meant it 😅

I work as a bartender and call the most feminine cis gendered women the world has ever seen bro, brother, mate and man. I don't even want to do it and always feel embarrassed afterwards I'm just a chronic bruh poster.

I always mean words like dude or guys as gender neutral, and luckily none of my friends have an issue with it, but I understand why some people wouldn't like that. Is there a good gender neutral replacement for the word?

My pre-teen daughter calls me "girl" all the time. Like something "what you mean, girl?"

My favorite though, is taking all their slang words and using them. They hate it.

I have a brit friend. Rough guy and personal security specialist (ex military). His funniest quirk to me is how he will use "honey" and especially "sweetheart" with anyone, regardless of gender and with absolutely no malice.

EDIT: LOL, this was meant as a response to a comment I can't even find now. Sorry, didn't mean to reply to main.

One of the best feelings is saying "What's up dude/man/bro" to some one who's recently transitioned to male.

Fuck, this is my daily struggle. At this point if I realized I messed up in text I let the conversation go for a bit then quietly edit that part out, because when I used to apologize I ended up just calling attention to the problem, which was annoying to my friends and caused it to hit worse.

Earnest question -- sorry if this is offensive or something everyone already knows -- but shouldn't you treat transwomen and ciswomen the same?

There is a single person in the world I call Bro, and it's my actual brother, who is transmasc.

https://www.etymonline.com/word/dude

Interesting suggested etymology, I'd never have thought dude about the type of person described there.

I call my female friends dude/bro/man every time