Transfem

So I can't personally give the kind of advice you're looking for, but saw this when sorting by new and just wanted to say this isn't a stupid question. You're coming into a state where you're feeling better about yourself, have probably not been caring for yourself the way you should/want to, and are now seeking advice on improving in this area. Good for you! That's actually fucking huge!

For me, it was getting in to running and getting active. After a lifetime of being inactive, it let me start to feel connected to the body I'm in, and feel proud of what it can do.

I will clarify sometimes "self-care" is a day off to pamper yourself and do whatever tf you want, but sometimes "self-care" is Journaling, or setting reminders for yourself to wash your face or whatever to literally take care of yourself. Sometimes you do need to be reminded "wash your face, it will make you feel better" that second part tripped me up on the idea of self-care for a while.

Ok here are some tips I have collected over the years.

I won’t spend much time in shaving because other people have done a better job. I jus always go with the grain. That keeps bumps down for me.

Here is probably my best tip that I tell people. If you have some extra pounds this will be more important, but it also helps thin people feel “clean” all day. A stripe of antiperspirant down each side of the V on either side of the genital area, also a little on your taint. If you have a few extra pounds a little antiperspirant on the inside of your thighs we’ll keep them from getting irritated from walking long distances. I’ve been fat and skinny. There’s nothing worse than chapped thighs.

One that I personally love. Teach yourself to do gel nails. You’ll need a UV lamp, but they are like $15 on eBay. The cool thing about gel nails is that it’s a lot harder to damage than regular nail polish. So, it’s a good beginner polish because you don’t have to be as gentle with it. Plus in my opinion it’s easier to use. Just watch some YouTube videos.

Makeup is hard, don’t get frustrated if it doesn’t go the way you expect the first time, or the second. But, in my experience big makeup stores are super helpful in helping you match skin tones and picking out appropriate starter makeup. I’m talking places like Sephora.

I’ll try and think of some more.

Hi. Pre-HRT, 26 year old transfem here! This is exactly what this community is for, you're welcome to ask.

I think I've got an okay grip on shaving. Trimming: I have a hair trimmer, like for your head, that I use to weedwhack. I use it because its strong like a tool and I can drop it without worries. Not safe in the genital area. Safe everywhere else.

Shaving face and body; I shave with a double sided beveled edge safety razor. The blades are so cheap and so sharp, I couldn't recommend it more.

On my face I prep with a shower or a hot damp towel. Clean your face with soap, even exfoliate gently. Then let the hot water soak in. I prep with a pre-shave oil, I have strong whiskers. More hot water. I apply a shaving cream, it's there to hold the hot water in so I keep adding hot water as muxh as I can. I lather that cream, pushing it into my face until its almost invisible, I add more, with water. My razor is resting in a bowl of hot water, too. Short strokes, light or no pressure. Barely there. Sometimes I hold skin taut. I rinse with a room temp water, while its a little damp I apply post-shave lotion. Its got some calming component in it to ease the skin. Then I lotion the rest of my face with a facial lotion, since I washed the rest of my face earlier, too.

I usually use Barbasol for sensitive skin on my face, its just what I grew up on. Sometimes I do the whole brush lathered shaving soap thing but its a luxury to me.

Shaving body I used to get horrid red bumps. So now I make sure the skin is SUPER CLEAN. Exfoliated. Totally soaped and scrubbed every inch. Shaving day is exfoliation day. Exfoliate first, shave, sometimes I even exfoliate after, gently. It keeps the ingrown hairs out. Basically hot water, I lather with eos brand or barbasol, and I sit in the steamy shower, water turned off, and I shave my legs while sitting down. With the grain, then against the grain if you desire it. Always with the grain first. Then I rinse off. I usually use my nornal lotion on the shaved areas, but if I knicked myself I have coochy brand post-shave spray. I hate it, and it costs too much. But it does work.

Oh, one thing I've had luck with is the Curly Girl methods. You can read all about it, but I'll share what worked for me real quick. Im white, and I had straight light brown hair that might get wavey on occasion. This info helps determine your hair type.

So I use Shikai everyday shampoo in cucumber. And I have terrible scalp buildup of dead skin, so I use a scalp silicone scrub brush to exfoliate that junk off of my head.

Then I use Garnier Whole Blends smoothing conditioner with coconut oil. Coconut oil works well for some but it can be a trouble ingredient on curlier hair. Youre looking for a product with no parabens, phthalates, or silicones. It has to be clear of these things or your hair just wont pick up new curls.

And I did the method where you kind of split your hair into groups and gently pull on it. I shit you not I did this twice, and months later I still have a few waves in my hair. And I think the waves make my hair a lot more feminine than if it laid straight.

When I wash, I also use a leave-in conditioner. I have Grow Long by marc anthony. Its fine but there's nothing special about it. I also have a detangler from pantene, and a paddle brush. No more thin toothed combs, ya gotta start with a brush with wide teeth to avoid damaging it.

There are some fantastic videos out there on transfem shaving, on curly hair methods, I have just learned to love youtube because I have had to DIY everything in my life. I have a drag queen friend though and they recommend I start my makeup with Colour Pop so I did. I also have some drug store and dollar store stuff. Wet n Wild is good in some categories. I watch Wayne Goss, and Alexandra Anele. But I have little practice using makeup so I wont offer direct advice.

Hi Cake! I think I know exactly what you're going through and I'd like to see if I can help you with some ideas. What habits and rituals do you already do? Starting a daily face wash and skin moisturizer helped me a lot. Do you work out at all?

I recommend getting a waxing kit on Amazon, they're like $40. Only way I can eliminate the 5 o clock shadow lol. Waxing hurts, but it destroys the follicles so if you do it regularly you won't have to deal with it as often. I normally just do my face and my genitals and shave the rest, but kinda considering doing a full body wax sometime 🤔