this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I love Dutch, but I'm sorry to say it sounds like a joke language to Germans.
A bicycle is a "fiets" (pronounced like English "feets").
A small motorcycle is a "bromfiets".
A bicycle with a gas engine is a "snorrfiets".
On cycle paths where motorcycles are banned, there's a sign:
"Dus niet brommen of snorren".

A bicycle rental is advertized with "fietsen huren" and you can rent a bike on huren.nl ("Find de beste huurdeal")
(Huren is the German word for prostitutes)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

How do you mention the absurdity of the Dutch language and not include "neuken in de keuken"? ;)

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My Parisian waiter when I say “Merci Beaucoup, Bonne soirée monsieur”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Parisian waiters are like that to everyone.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Waiters in Alsace (Eastern France) will reply in German when you try to practice your French.
They reply in French when you speak German.
When you talk to them in Alsatian or Pfälzisch, they'll introduce you to their grandma who will cook for you till you burst.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I live within cycling distance of the border, and go on regular cheese runs.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 21 hours ago

Oh so that's who's been getting all the cheese !

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Fuck you I'll be pentalingual if I want to be

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

You curse like a dual citizen.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

“Hey baby, yeah I’m pentalingual!”

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I love when people call me polyglot when I only know three languages, lol.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

"woah, u ken rite inglish an brittish? ur laik a total poll e glott!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Met an old British guy in a bar the other day, he kept commenting how good my English was. I think he meant well, but it rubbed me the wrong way at some like yeah, it's not that hard, you know.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

And then an old Japanese man walked in and yelled: "Oh my god, they know how to use chopsticks!" Then an elderly Japanese woman burst through the window and asked: "Do you know about Japan's four seasons?!" You just nodded and took a bite of kimchi. Then from under the table popped a Korean lady and she yelled: "They know about kimchi!" And then a bunch of Chinese uncles fell from the ceiling and yelled: "Wow, you blend in so well!" This caught you off guard and you dropped one of your chopsticks. You then ate some rice with your hands and out of nowhere came a bunch of Ethiopians. The Ethiopians started going wild and yelled: "They didn't touch their lips with their fingers!!!" At this point the old British guy keeled over and died from culture shock.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

That's why Tolkien invented Elvish.
He never learnt to speak any existing language.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Nobody can be reasonably expected to count to 3 without error.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

In all fairness I get a similar reaction in my own country, Portugal, when I speak in Dutch to Dutch Tourists.

It's probably because it's pretty rare for foreigners to know any Dutch words at all, even that simple Dutch equivalent to "thanks".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

I live close to the border so we go to the Netherlands about every other month. I have tried learning some common dutch tourist phrases like ordering food or asking for the toilets. Unfortunately, so far most shops or waiters have just insisted on using English or German and I've been told numerous times something along the lines of "Why would you try to learn Dutch? We can all speak English."

The front desk lady at one of the hotels we stayed at in Noord-Holland even told me "Oh, don't learn Dutch, that's such a waste of time." I don't know, I love learning at least a few sentences of the local language when I go somewhere on vacation. But I've never met so much resistance to it as in the Netherlands.