The sex question redditors have arrived

Tl:dr Discovered I have a phobia for sleight-of-hand magicians and it ruined the most romantic opportunity of my life.

I booked an expensive, bougie hotel room for me and my (at the time) boyfriend, and we were planning on a wild night. He asked me to leave the room for an hour for him to prepare, so I went to the hotel bar for a drink. A guy approached me to bum a cig and began doing random magic tricks - pulling cards out of nowhere, making things appear in my pocket, and making ashes appear in my palm. I'm not sure why, but I absolutely panicked - it felt so violating to think that he was in my pockets and making things happen to my body without my knowledge or consent.

I ended up in a full blown panic attack and rushed back to the room. My partner was fully ready for an amazing romantic encounter, with rose petals and champagne and everything. I ended up just hyperventilating and ranting about scary magicians then fell asleep. I felt so bad that I ruined the night. I still get anxiety when I see magic tricks.

Yes, one of the children woke up.

ADHD

Every time

Gunshots. Hard to stay hard wondering if you're about to acquire some new holes, but I guess it depends on your kinks.

It wasn't sex, but I was making out with a girl and the TV was on. One of the characters out of nowhere goes "no lightbulbs?! NO LIGHTBULBS!?" and I completely lost it, laughing right in her face practically in tears.

Strange drunk man hip-checked his way into my locked apartment. He was on the wrong floor, trying to visit his buddy one above me.

Full, over-the-top drama mode to the apartment managers and they installed a much more secure door and deadbolt. I'd already complained about their doors being basically just thick cardboard, so I wasn't going to pass the opportunity up.

The dog got on the bed and licked my butt. Ruined the evening as we couldn't stop laughing.

The dog and the cat came in at the mid point and sat down next to the bed and watched us like we were an episode of Wild Animal Kingdom and it was a mating scene, I swear to god the cat looked amused. I could no longer concentrate.

My 5 year old tapping on the door and asking if he can play too.

It was the tv at the foot of our bed. Saturday Night Live was on, but the skits were kinda so so. So, the wife and I start getting frisky. A few minutes in and all I heard was "I'm the sexiest girl in the sixth grade...NO NO you can't say that!" The skit was a couple trying to talk dirty, but the woman is saying some messed up stuff. Totally ruined the moment, but turned out to be one of the funniest skits I've seen for a while.

It would be a lot more troubling if screaming kids didn’t make you soft.

Yes of course. We have had to stop and go take care of life several times. Sounds of crashing glass, someone at front door, kid knocking at bedroom door (at least all are trained to knock "NEVER try to open my door, you do not want to accidentally open it at a bad time and traumatize yourself")

Yep, broken concentration fucks me up completely.

Her dog.

GF's mom slamming her car door out front.

We were just getting into it when we had someone collapse on the footpath outside our house, he was unable to walk and was calling for help. We had to go perform first aid and call an ambulance. Didn't feel like fucking after that.

I once had a son when i came to early when my bed riser fell over. The bed completely tilted to one corner and the jolt just did it.

Yeah. Her son came home from the park early crying because he hurt himself.

So... Would it have made it better or worse if she was yelling for her dad instead? 🤣