Add in some cigarettes and you've pretty much got the "depressed detective" diet there

Hot women have kidney stones.

This seems like something Dr. Nick Riviera would prescribe:

"All of the cholesterol will make your heart work extra hard. It's like exercising all the time!"

Black coffee at dinner. I see you’ve determined that I don’t need sleep.

if necessary

3 days loss: 5lbs (2,5k.)

I suppose if you did do this and this only this you would be so horribly dehydrated after 3 days that might ring true

"preferably Chablis"

poached if necessary

the 1,000 calorie/day atkins diet.

I don't really like either so I'm not defending their honor or anything but aren't poached eggs healthier than hard-boiled? Something about the lower temp and shorter cook time?