They don’t like you.

... and they see you. You remind them of the taste of food. It's been so long.

Pressing one inconvenience-fixing button also causes a random inconvenience in the list to reoccur. Hope you like invisible splinters in your socks and random hiccups every time you want to cure your allergies.

When you push one of those buttons, it's effect is random.

But you shit yourself while you're going home every time.

But the memory of each fumble haunts you permanently.

You have to sort through every object anyone has ever lost to do so

Any object you locate begins looking for you

But it also has no speed limit, causing items you pull around to reach light speed almost instantly, effectively growing to infinite size for the duration of the pull

You are a cat 🐱

But every time you do it, you fall asleep until someone else wakes you up with the magic formula "wake up, you dummy! Wake up!" When you wake up the effect is over.