this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2023
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I have a set of mental buttons i can press which lets me instantly fix some common flaws of being a human:
Pressing one inconvenience-fixing button also causes a random inconvenience in the list to reoccur. Hope you like invisible splinters in your socks and random hiccups every time you want to cure your allergies.
When you push one of those buttons, it's effect is random.
"I really need to get this song out of my head so I can concentrate on cla....ZZZZZZZZZZ"
You fall asleep easily, but you have wicked sleep apnea.
You can stop humming songs but it dials the intrusive thoughts up to 11
Good news, your light headaches have been replaced with moderate migraines.
You can postpone your hunger for 3 hours, but anything you consume within that window you permanently develop a sickness taste aversion to.
The ringing in your ear has been replaced with the Wilhelm scream.
The itching has stopped. The only price was IBS.