this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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Main ones I can think of:

  1. Be attractive. If unattractive, at least be disabled in some way.
  2. Dress as skimpily as possible. Show legs at all time if female.
  3. Forget dancing, just throw your partner around. Get your face to her crotch at any opportune moment.
  4. Make really inappropriate comments to each other during the talking phase. Really sell the idea you're having an affair on live camera.
  5. Choose the shittiest pop songs you can find. Make sure it's not the original, but some shitty mock-soul cover.
  6. If a presenter, give off the impression of fighting a sickly illness. Anorexia is desired if possible.

Any other rules I'm missing?

top 15 comments
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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well you're missing the other 4 from your title for a start...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Isn't that...drumroll...the Point?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How are you going to cha-cha if you can't even count?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

I was counting in sexcesimal.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When the expert judge speaks, the one who is actually going to give constructive criticism to help you get better at dancing, everyone needs to yell "BOO FUCK OFF" at him like he's a pantomime Gargamel. Only non-critical criticisms are allowed.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The other judges are genuinely useless

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Not entirely: they provide the lowest common denominator with cheap entertainment. But, you know, the same can be said for the whole show.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

NO !

I've just been subject to the worst television known to man

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You do know you can go into another room and read a book if your mum wants to watch her dancing show?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I value my time with my mum, and don't get to spend much time with her, so I suck it up. But barely. Just barely.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

That's sweet, keep it up. Also, that's how I got sucked into enjoying an entire series, so you never know!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I too value my time with your mum.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Bruce Forsyth was, like he was with many things, ultimately better than most at 6.