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Real answer?
Don't fight the pelican. The law is on their side, for one thing.
No I don't think you could hold it away from you without hurting it or you. No I don't think it has any intention of harming you, unless you are a fish. Walk on by, it will either just sit there or fly away.
I wouldn't worry to much about pelicans. Fun fact - pelicans try to eat people sometimes. They basically try to eat every animal, because they have no sense of scale for their food they can swallow. And they don't risk much by trying - most large animals have the same incredulous reaction we do
They are not very bright birds nor very quick ones. They are also not very agile. And as a bird, they have hollow bones and you could kill them with a solid fist to the chest... I once saw the aftermath of two shin high dogs tearing one apart. On a small balcony. There was blood everywhere... The dogs were covered in it, completely uninjured and very pleased with themselves
I wouldn't worry, even if they have the sharp bits that could injure you, they lack the instincts to use them properly
there's a video out there of one trying to eat a duck
I have no idea, but I really hope some genius on Lemmy creates a simulation of this fight so we can all have a great time watching it.
Why is this comment section full of people ridiculing the question in a community called "no stupid questions"? Like, isn't the entire point here to be able to ask questions that you worry might be stupid without being ridiculed for it?
Every dedicated "ask questions" community I've ever participated in has had a nonzero amount of users who seem to only show up to bitch and moan that, shock! people are asking questions. I don't get it either.
you're a great ape somewhere between 150 and 300 lbs. It's a 15 pound bird. I'm sorry but this is embarrassing.
As a Canadian, have you ever met a Canada goose?
I feel you OP.
Also, telling someone they should be embarrassed because they are afraid or don't want to fight is toxic, although I guess maybe you are joking?
I’m a mediocre ape at best.
Bears will run from dogs knowing that the fight could leave them horribly maimed.
I’d run from the goose knowing that the fight would leave me horribly ashamed and embarrassed, and possibly maimed.
Most likely the worst it would do is some light scratches and bites, but that beak tip could tear up some skin if it scrapes across the skin like a box cutter knife. Those beak tips are surprisingly sharp.
But it would all be superficial from the claws and beak. The main danger would be from bacteria and other pathogens causing infections if those wounds aren't cleaned.
how badly could a pelican fuck me up in a fight?
DISCLAIMER - I am not planning on fighting a pelican.
there's a brown pelican that hangs out...
Poetry.
Actually, wait...
how badly could a
pelican fuck me up in
a fight? DISCLAIMER
.
I am not planning
on fighting a pelican.
There's a brown peli-
Can you please write a review on Google or something? I would love to know how you would rate the Pelican's performance in your upcoming battle.
does the pelican have a business where i can leave such a review?
Maybe that one?
Edit: They promise this on their website : "We deliver award-winning customer service by empowering our people to recognise the needs of our customers".
It's basically the rules of a knife fight: The primary goal is to control the weapon, in this case the talons. Both of you are definitely going to get fucked up if you try.
The bird's on the boardwalk for food. The most aggressive thing it's likely to do is to steal your food.