this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
565 points (98.0% liked)

Not The Onion

12549 readers
1541 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

cross-posted from: https://ponder.cat/post/952397

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

what is not fair is that all texans have at least one dildo as long as elon resides there.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's to allow one for each day of the week except for Sunday, as Sunday is The Lord's Day.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm interested in seeing a judicial decision on whether a double ended dildo counts as one dildo or two dildos.

If you create a religion with a dildo being recognized by your dogma as official iconography, could you unlock "unlimited dildos" based upon religious freedom exceptions?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Bonus points if the religion is a sect of christanity.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

So they just rent the ones over 6?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Nah, just adapt the little free library idea. Little neighborhood kiosks where people can share their dildos freely.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

What if they're dildo shaped guns? Would Texas ever dare to ban those?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Me, who lived in Texas for 22 years.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Does this mean that independent sex shops will thrive in texas? It could be a good thing for small business.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

These people CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Will there be an official Office of Dildo Inspections? With Dildo Inspectors making rounds, carefully checking every household for staying within their allotted number of items? Will the billboards aside the vast highways advertise the government hotline for anonymous reporting of infractions?

And if not, well, they're clearly cowards. If you're going to pass a law like that, you have to go all the way!

Seriously though, I sometimes wonder how this period of time will be described in history books 50 years from now.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›