this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2024
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I've had female friends and I've had male friends but for some reason I've noticed that females are more intimate and close to there friends then males are. Is this true for all male friends?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Some are, I'm not a man but I have male friends and we're very intimate and close, hug and cuddle each other, express our affection and our emotions openly

Ofc I have had the "bro" type of male friends, where it seems they feel like we can't do that kind of stuff even if we do rly care for each other :(

It's much better in queer and queer-friendly spaces ime

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

No. Not in my experience anyway. That said, furries are a whole different breed. Furries love sharing physical intimacy. Cuddle piles in the furry community are a real thing.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

No. I think men and women express intimacy to each other in different ways.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

maybe 100+ years ago before gay panic really got going.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I'd wager the opposite. I'd say men hug more now.

Source: am secretly a Highlander

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I think it's interesting that you are comparing "men" and "girls" as opposed to either boys and girls or men and women.

No judgement. Just thought that was interesting.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Good thing you're not judging. If it was the passive aggressive criticism it looks like on the surface, it might contribute to this very topic of people feeling safer keeping to themselves than speaking freely and saying the wrong words.

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[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They all mean the same thing basically

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

They're not the same thing, though. If you use infantilizing language with people of one sex until they're 40, yeah, people are going to notice that and think it's weird. I used to have a ton of unexamined behaviors like that before I worked on it a fair amount, and yeah, I was pretty lonely back when...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 22 hours ago

Idk, you think this woman's use of the word "girl" is likely contributing much to her lonliness? I mean that'd probably be true if she was a man because people would automatically assume the worst, but in my experience women can usually get away with saying "girl" without anyone caring.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't think most people care. Granted, maybe it's the dysphoria speaking, but I love it when someone calls me "girl" and I'm 30. None of the people I know care. If anything it feels more familiar to call someone a girl or a boy than a man or a woman. The latter two feel very "official", while the former feel casual.

Also I've absolutely heard girls call a group of men, "boys". Like, one of the white suburban mom stereotypes is to call her husband and his friends, "the boys". Like, "hey honey, how was hanging out with the boys" or "oh, he's off with the boys doing who knows what".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I share your sentiment, whenever one of my aunts calls me a '"good-looking boy," my mid-30s heart warms up.

In addition, we will all mature only when we realise that we never stop being children in one way or another. Plus why would anyone want to give that up? One of the few nuggets of genuine joy and curiosity that's still left for us to own.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Girlfriends have naked bubble make out pillow fights. Guys do not.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

You are going to the wrong parties

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Can confirm. There are a few web sites that have video evidence. Google it, and thank me later.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think your experience is extremely typical.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Not really. It's been 70/30. I have some male friends and there pretty intimate. Always doing things like slapping my butt and giving me sexual compliments/wolf whistling at me. At first it was pretty awkward then I thought to myself "what's the problem?" There only complimenting you and there not exactly wrong😏.

But now I don't know if there just being friendly or if there flirting with me. I've had women say similar things to me before.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I tell my boys I love them. Kisses on the forehead before we part too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

*their

"there friends" would be like... friends that are somewhere else. As opposed to "here friends", I guess

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

There are no universal truths about the behavior of "men" and "women" (nor other gender identities)

However, I believe men (at least in the US) are often socialized to more emotionally closed off. Like the only emotion allowed is anger. Other emotions are seen as weak or femme (which are viewed as the same)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

yes, we're not all incels and taters and fundamentalist wannabe strong men

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

There was a ~1.5 year old reddit thread that talked about this

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 day ago (12 children)
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