I'm feeling confident in my long term abilities. I am conducting some operations to gain money and lay the groundwork for organization and while not much is happening in the now I am very optimistic of where my life could be in 1, 5, 10 etc. years. It feels good to feel more like an adult, like the heroes I always aspired to be, and less like a child who doesn't know what they're doing. I still have gaps in my confidence in short term day-to-day scenarios e.g. talking to a merchant at my delivery job and stumbling on a word and overthinking it, but I'm laying groundwork to not be a dweeb and it's not getting at me to the core like it once was.
Also, I felt a nascent distance between myself and my best (and only) friend and it was worrying me about the future. But I talked and it went very well. Confronation and being real is so much less scary and so much more rewarding and less hostile than I think we build up in our heads sometimes. Definitely trying to transition towards being more direct and blunt.
Kudos for the gyming!! As I always tell myself: a fascist worked out today. Gotta keep pace with these fucks ๐ช definitely felt good a while back when one of my regular merchants referred to me as "big dog."