this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 74 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

this is me, doing php and javascript on daily basis.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fun fact, a glass of whisky is a good rubber duck substitute

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Gotta hit that Ballmer peak.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Same here. It's not so bad. It get's really bad when I have to work on older PHP5 projects, though. Or shudder WordPress projects without OOP.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It is a poor craftsman who blames their tools, but I wouldn't be so poor if these tools weren't so shit.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

10 print "hello"
20 goto hell

I'm a bad programmer.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

i have this pep talk with myself every time i have to switch languages for a project (especially between python & java) and i can't remember how to do it at first.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago

During university I gave additional lessons for lower semesters and at times had to juggle three languages: Java, Typescript and plain JavaScript for that one professor who thought TS sucks.

Coding on the spot got really messy at times.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sorry, but you weren’t the type I thought you were all the time

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The type is dynamic. It can be whatever you wish.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

You say : the type is dynamic

We hear : the type is imaginary

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

You didn't need that opening parenthesis in python

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Try lua as a middle ground. It's object based but more classical with the syntax.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

It’s the best scripting language I know of, but man I hate dynamically types languages. I am so used to rust and C/C++ that reading any large script or program will drive me insane

And the whitespace instead of {} tokens…

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The whitespace doesn't bother me at all, but holy hell! Any time I'm trying to understand a Python program/library that's anything above a couple thousand lines of code, I instantly feel a burning hate for dynamic typing.

I love Python for scripting- in large part because of dynamic typing. IMO it's just not a language made for building large infrastructures.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Exactly.

I use it a lot on my systems for very simple scripts because I am significantly more experienced in python compared to bash.

I remember getting given a 10k line python script which “was the documentation” for an API i had to interact with using powershell. I hated life so much because of that stupid project.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

I've had the joy of working on a python project with strict type checking enforced in CI and wow is it a different experience. Am a big fan.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

I can handle dynamically typed, but the whitespace thing kills me. I kind of really like PowerShell.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There’s no such thing as bad languages just bad programers anything outside of raw machine code is Just coping for a lack of skill.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Machine code? If you can't build a circuit to solve your problem it's a lack of skill.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Honestly probably easier than writing in machine code.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I'm not a bad programmer, nix is just a horrible programming language

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Or maybe it’s the wrong language for the task. Macromedia flash is pretty good for animated websites, an enterprise asset management system, not so much.

My current cross to bear in an app written in Mulesoft because “it’s great with Salesforce” but completely unsuited for bulk data transfers.

Sucks to be stuck with bad choices made before you got there.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

I have to bounce around between languages so much I don't really think I'm fluent in anything anymore. I may not be a bad programmer, but some of my programming is bad.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

There is no good programming language, even including the ones people do not use.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If only haskell devs were writing documentations, instead of going "type sigs is all the documentation you need!"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

They moved from python?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Haskell devs like to write code, not maintain it. A bunch of libraries get written, but get abandoned shortly after for something new & shiny.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

Clojure is pretty decent.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

What's the name of that ancient Java UX again?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Hm, why this sound so familiar :D

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

"A bad workman blames his tools."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

We don’t always have the luxury of choosing our tools, and some tools are garbage.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

"A good workman chooses good tools"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

It's just node.js that's why.. you're a deno dude now it's just your company that is still delayed not you

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

This is what I tell myself every time I find out the hard way what documented parts of Visual Basic didn't make it into VBScript.