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That’s a whole lotta words to say absolutely nothing
(hexbear.net)
shit
POV: Daniel got a thesaurus for his birthday
That's some bread in need of conquest
A playful sourdough? What, like a dog?
The owner is a graduate of the Bay Area School of Pretentious Dish Naming.
The San Francisco Chronicle, for decades, had spent an increasingly large slice of its total paper volume on its wine section, and it kept growing and taking a larger percentage, like a malignant tumor of pretentiousness.
How does it fill out that much text in that many pages? With a whole lot of pretentious nothing like the OP posted.
Don’t worry, they took a break to sic their rabid readers doped up on crime wave propaganda on Honduran immigrants.
Look up “SF Chronicle Honduras Drugs” and you can see for yourself
May even be a ChatGPT product. 
Computer, give me a food description written by a soulless husk of a consulting firm that best caters to cracker yuppies from San Francisco
If you ever get invited to eat with cracker yuppies from the Bay Area, I hope you like bland, cold, slimy overpriced food. If you don't, they'll blame you for not appreciating the supposedly subtle accents/flavors/whatever of their bland cold slimy overpriced food.
Got exposed to plenty of that as a kid. Courtesy of my asshole family. Made a post about them 3 years ago, you might stumble across it. I’m grateful every day I didn’t turn out to be a failson loser preaching the virtues of capitalism
But back to the food, when my job was flying rich guys around, I had better food from jet catering companies.
I could say something about how weird and alien western rich fucks are regarding their food preferences (caviar is disgusting and is derived from animal cruelty in the first place, and it's a sort of rich fuck hazing ritual to eat it until one starts to supposedly like it), but I could also get carried away and write an entire book on that.
We used to have Caviar served for first class passengers for trans-pacific flights, there was always one guy who didn’t want it. The crew tried it once, I thought it tasted like nothing plus salt and it was slimy. At least I was being paid to eat it 
Ever have a rich fuck tell you how you're supposed to properly eat it?
I have. He described the way you're supposed to (CW: gross description)
spoiler
encircle each fish egg with your practiced tongue and squeeze it until it pops and squirts, savoring each and every fish egg that way.
The Zucc isn't the only rich asshole that gives me the shivers.
Luckily not to me directly, but I learned plenty of rich people table manners as a kid. Did you know you’re not supposed to use the butter knife directly on the bread, but you have to smear it on the side of your dedicated bread plate? And for the 10 different utensils they give you, it’s like the rich lady from Titanic said, work your way in.
But I guess that way makes sense if you spent 2000 dollars for two spoonfuls.
Luckily not to me directly, but I learned plenty of rich people table manners as a kid. Did you know you’re not supposed to use the butter knife directly on the bread, but you have to smear it on the side of your dedicated bread plate? And for the 10 different utensils they give you, it’s like the rich lady from Titanic said, work your way in.
It's always been performative bullshit to constantly test fellow rich fucks for authentic rich fuckiness.
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It's got that telltale vibe. That "je me sais quoi" that AI generated text so often has to it.
nah, this is actually how wine and food wankers actually speak
You're not wrong.
As much as I groan at the "dae le epic bacon" fad that dragged on for so many years, it came from a reaction to snotty foodie asshole arrogance from the early 2000s which is somewhat understandable.
Jeez then did they train ChatGPT solely on high end food marketing material? Because it sounded so much like AI!
Ube are so good. I miss the trucks that sell roasted ones like ice cream trucks in Japan.
So this is a Kumara sourdough/Irish potato bread. Nice but hardly groundbreaking. Also no it's never been a dessert what are they thinking.
I can see I'm not the only one dining somewhere bougie tonight.
Lol Ube, that shit has FD&C Red #3 and Blue #1 in it
When you need to hit that word count limit but don’t actually have anything else to say
I stopped at Ube, I bet the bread tastes nice.
I'd pay $8 max
this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2023
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