the_dunk_tank

It's just branding, because it's a shuttle service between a mainline stop in a nearby village and their Gigafactory outside Berlin.

The best part is that this train isn't made by Tesla, it's just them leasing battery trains from Siemens, and they don't even operate them:

Tesla plans to switch to operating battery-electric trains from the Mireo Smart family, manufactured by Siemens, replacing diesel trains currently transporting employees to their factory near Berlin.

[...]

The trains will be leased from the newly established leasing company, Smart Train Lease, founded by Siemens in early 2024. The operation of the trains will continue to be managed by the passenger transport operator Niederbarnimer Eisenbahn (NEB).

Source: https://www.railway.supply/en/tesla-is-transitioning-to-environmentally-friendly-trains/

It's a train ffs what is the point of using fucking batteries that will run out you can just run electricity through the track jfc

God I hate this style of tech reporting that's just advertising in disguise

"What if electric train, but nowhere near as efficient, costs more to produce, can catch fire and burn for two weeks straight, and has my brand's trademark jank?"

"EPICALLY MEMED, MY MEME LORD!"

just run a wire jfc

Given how old battery-powered electric cars are, I doubt this is actually new.

Edit:

Experiments with accumulator railcars, as they were originally called, were conducted from around 1890 in Belgium, France, Germany, and Italy. Full implementation of battery trains were undertaken with various degrees of success. In the U.S., railcars of the Edison-Beach type, with nickel-iron batteries were used from 1911. In New Zealand, a battery-electric Edison railcar with a range of 160 km (99 mi) operated from 1926 to 1934 on the 34 km (21 mi) long Little River Branch line. The Drumm nickel-zinc battery was used on four 2-car sets between 1932 and 1946 on the Harcourt Street Line in Ireland. British Railways used lead-acid batteries in a British Rail BEMU from 1958 to 1966 on the 38 mile long Aberdeen to Ballater line in Scotland.

Giga Train

That's false advertising for a perfectly normal-sized train.

Mind blowing passenger capacity

Looks like it has about the same passenger capacity as any other train. Is this the bazinga crowd discovering how effective trains are?

Battery powered

Just build catenaries! It's the superior technology. We figured that out more than a century ago.

It's pretty sad that cyberpunkerino became just an aesthetic, even if it's admittedly a good one. Guess it's not that surprising considering William Gibson is a massive lib.