this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
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xkcd

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The secret fourth kind is 'we applied a standard theory to their map of every tree and got some suspicious results.'

https://explainxkcd.com/2977/

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Then there’s also the flat-earther style: “We applied a flawed model and flawed methodology to standard circumstances and got the results we wanted!”

I guess we need a new comic to address all the different kinds of pseudo-science.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

That's easy! We call that Garbage In Garbage Out!

[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

What about 'we applied a standard theory to standard circumstances and somehow the results aren't right and it's probably our fault'

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Business as usual, just another day at the lab. People using actual real world samples instead of the expensive standards to produce a very messy calibration squiggle. Also, the machine probably requires some maintenance from time to time.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Should just assume a perfectly spherical cow in a vacuum for simplicity's sake 🤷

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oddly enough, the lack of air pressure in a vacuum would have the effect of trying to turn a regular cow into a sphere.

(Do not do this. Not even if the cow is already dead. Thanks.)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Do not do this.

Dammit, there goes my weekend! Oh well, guess I can still just eat that dead cow that's been taking up space in the lab 🤷

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” but “That’s funny …”

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

My favorite is the one on fire

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Not to be confused with "is it supposed to be making a noise", which is usually pretty bad

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The one I see the most is:

"We avoided any semblance of rational experimental design and got significant results."

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

We were awarded grant money from a corporation and got results that are favourable to them but require further grants to really boost that evidence up a notch, wink wink

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

If all else fails, use "significant at a p>0.05 level" and hope no one notices.

source: xkcd

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There is also "We did nothing of value"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Aka "we applied a standard theory to standard circumstances and got the expected result" - one can argue it does help in a way by providing another dataset although it didn't really accomplish anything it can be useful for student research projects in that field.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

No I meant wasting time with useless stuff

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm afraid tree mapping isn't yet in it

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

It is. But it groups trees that are next to each other. You can add a single tree in the "Things" overlay

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Content notice on explainxkcd:

This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Created by a DEPTH-FIRST TREE SEARCHER

😄

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Don't forget "these are novel circumstances and so we attempted something, but really the circumstances are so novel that just documenting them is pretty neat"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

We applied a map of every tree to a set of all possible sets we're waiting on the results