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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ojopioko on 2024-07-26 23:33:11+00:00.
Obligatory this happened a while back.
Back in those times I was living abroad, very far from my country and I felt a bit lonely, so I went on Bumble. Those days I was very overweight and didn't really take care of myself, I wasn't in a great place mentally either, so matches were few.
I (26M) matched with this other foreigner (F30ish) and we started talking on bumble. She came across ass kind of shallow and mean, but I wasn't being picky and I enjoyed the attention.
We decide to go on a date and I offer 3 or 4 nice bars in our area, she shuts them all down, eventually she says we should meet at a grill place that looked awful. I say fuck it and go anyways.
She arrives 45 minutes late, procedes to be rude to staff, rude to me, talk shit about the country we're in and just in general act like a spoiled brat. She's also not funny or pretty or interesting. I always try to be polite and charming, and I guess it worked as she invites me to her place.
She lives in a 3 bedroom apartement all for herself, the apartement is covered in piled up clothes, empty suitcases and boxes of food (she had lived there for more than 3 months already). Also, she insists on keeping some random show on Netflix with high volume on the whole time.
At this point I am just in for the ride, so I turn on my charm, we end up kissing a little bit, she asks me to get naked, we kiss some more and do some stuff but not sex. All the while the TV is on and she is constantly stopping to make rude remarks.
I leave without the expectation of seing her again, that was weird af.
A couple of days later, my 3 roomates all are going out on hot dates, I feel jelous and lonely so I decide to text her and ask if she wants to meet. She says something like "Not really, I don't really like you like that" to which I saltily reply "I don't like you like that either, I was asking if you wanted to have some fun together, nothing serious" or something like that.
She. Didn't. Take. This. Well.
She proceded to call me a fat loser, saying that she rejected the bars I sent because she was embarrased to be seen with someone like me, and a bunch of other hurtful stuff. I was very surprised, so I just started to joke around saying shit like "Oh yes mommy tell me more" and "Tell me how nasty I am", this made her even more angry.
After a good 3 hours of scolding me over text, I go to sleep and ignore her. She starts to frantically call me on wsp. At around 1am I pick up, she's now all nice and gentle, and asks if I can please get an STD screen because she's affraid I gave her something and she's affraid of needles (we didn't have sex). I just want to go to sleep so I say sure and go to mimir.
I talk to a friend about this, and he convinces me that this woman is being unreasonable and I should not just do what she asks, so I tell her "You were very rude, I don't owe you anything and we didn't have sex or any risky activity, so get your own STD screen" and block her on wsp.
Sunday evening, I'm at the office doing some work and I start to get calls on my phone from her. After 5 or 6 calls I decide to pick up, again she's all gentleness and says that she's affraid I will think badly of her (wtf) and she wants to make it up to me. She always bragged about being an amazing cook, so she says that I must go to her place to try her cooking. She insists until I cave and agree to go in a couple of weeks.
She makes some shitty pasta for me while expeting a mountain of praise, then actually treats me ok and we end up cuddling a bit and kissing. At this point, she bites my cheek really hard for like 30 seconds, leaving a bruise. I say fuck it and politely tell her I should go and leave. Next day all my friends make fun of my bruised face.
She contacted me again a couple of times to say insane things, like when she called me at 7am to ask how she can fix a relationship after she invited the guy over and wouldn't let him leave and started to block the door and shout, so yeah, I got the tamed version of her at least.
TL;DR agreed to a second date with a weird woman, ended up getting bitten in the face for it.