this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
693 points (98.7% liked)

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[–] [email protected] 118 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You don’t go to work for the TSA because you got a 1600 on your SAT.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm convinced that having a sense of humor is a disqualification to be a TSA agent lol

Ah shit, I said lol now I'm on the disqualified list :(

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

I wonder how many people think they are "hilarious" when talking with TSA.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You shake the ball, it responds 'ask again later'...

... except there is also now a blinking red led, which is blinking more and more rapidly.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Sounds like a great writing prompt.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Jimmy swore up and down that he didn't know that the magic 8 ball could do that. Unfortunately for him, the TSA agents were unable to hear him over the increasingly louder and more rapid beeping sounds made by said magic 8 ball. Within moments, Jimmy was on the ground with the weight of a TSA agent on his back and the cool steel of a handgun pressed to his neck.

"Don't fucking move," ordered a TSA agent. Another agent immediately followed up with, "I'll blow your head off if you try anything." As the magic 8 ball liked to say to him sometimes, for Jimmy, his outlook was not so good.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Sounds like a thermal detonator……

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Plot twist: the liquid inside the ball is nitroglycerin.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Plot plot twist: is plain water for the kid to drink.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can't trust the 8-ball in this situation, it's biased.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Indeed. It's a 2:1 ratio of affirmative to negative responses.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

Believe it or not, that’s a frisking.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Its funny, because America is dead inside :-D !

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Can you blame 'em?