170
Uh-huh (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by plinky@hexbear.net to c/the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net
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[-] SovietyWoomy@hexbear.net 135 points 2 years ago

MrBeast: I don't really understand for-profit prisons.

Democratic advisor: They're good because I can make money off of them. You should arrest more people so I can make more money.

Republican advisor: They're good because I can make money off of them. You should arrest more people so I can make more money.

MrBeast: I understand the issue now. I'm going to make it illegal to not watch every new video that I upload.

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 96 points 2 years ago

For problems I’m ignorant in I’d have experts from the left and right advise me on them and try to find the middle ground that’s best for America

The right: Kill all trans people

The left: Don't kill any trans people

The middle ground: Kill half of the trans people

[-] Speaker@hexbear.net 43 points 2 years ago

Le epic bacon Thanos doctrine

[-] bumpusoot@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

What I'm hearing is that the left should start demanding to double the population with exclusively trans people, effectively a -100% murder rate. Then the middle ground will be 0% and centrists can finally agree.

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago

Project Resurrect Every Trans Person from the Dead

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[-] Xx_Aru_xX@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago

Kill trans people... who are brown

[-] joaomarrom@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

especially since chuds have been laying into him lately on twitter on account of a close associate of his having come out as trans recently (or something like that, I only read that briefly)

so yeah, both sides, huh?

[-] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 76 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

every single guy who thinks that politics is solved by listening to the left and the right and then coming up with a solution that integrates both viewpoints so everyone is happy actually thinks they are the ubermensch and has a terminal case of solipsism if they don't immediately go "no wait that's fucking stupid that's probably been tried before"

[-] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 51 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

what a fucking novel solution. did you come up with that on your own. i bet you thought long and hard about that. i bet you did a lot of research to synthesize that

[-] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago

the idea that no one has yet come up with in question:

[-] Cowbee@hexbear.net 49 points 2 years ago

The left wants healthcare, and the right wants genocide, lets meet in the middle and commit genocide without providing healthcare 👍

[-] peeonyou@hexbear.net 32 points 2 years ago

basically Biden is a political genius

[-] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 75 points 2 years ago
[-] cogitase@lemmy.dbzer0.com 57 points 2 years ago

Experts on the left: Climate scientists. Experts on the right: Some deranged person shouting about HAARP on YouTube.

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 55 points 2 years ago

What the fuck he's only in his early 20s?

doomer im getting old and I aint even that old.

[-] GladimirLenin@hexbear.net 53 points 2 years ago

Gladiator battles for insulin mr-beast

[-] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 46 points 2 years ago

he’s running
Mr Beast 2040, someone snag some domains for ransom

[-] lil_tank@hexbear.net 46 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

mr-beast I GIVE 10 000 DOLLARS IF YOU ENROLL IN THE MILITARY 🪖🎖️

[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 42 points 2 years ago

We should kill this guy with hammers, I'll tell you that right now

[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago
[-] GoebbelsDeezNuts@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

im officially adding NL to the only-good-gamer list

[-] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 40 points 2 years ago

expert from the left and right

What fucking expert are on the right these days? All their ideological leaders are just random assholes who spout angry vibes.

[-] BlueMagaChud@hexbear.net 38 points 2 years ago

kelly Beastapartism

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

don't care about doing things just because my party says I should

You don't get to lead anything or make decisions without a mandate from people that believe you'll do what they want you to do.

[-] CloudyConvent@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago

Not right or left, President Beast stands for a third position

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[-] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago

Ideally there won't be a USA in 15 years.

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[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

"I'm solving the competition between left and right over voters by having left and right compete over me."

Purest borgor brain.

[-] plinky@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

mr-beast sold, to the highest bidder, gentleman with the top hat

porky-happy

[-] Moss@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

Ah fuck I accidentally lathed this into existence. This one's on me, sorry everyone

https://hexbear.net/post/2810541

[-] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

The experts on the right want genocide and bigotry, the experts on the left advice against it, we'll compromise and do a gay genocide (like with rainbow guns, not killing gay people (unless they are on the wrong side))

[-] Titou@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago

Macron be like

[-] ashinadash@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago

This coming from the guy who feels uneasy spending time with his girlfriend because it doesn't make his channel more profitable.

[-] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago

(Brace noise)

mr-beast stalin-gun-1stalin-gun-2

[-] Delphinium@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

The revolution will get it's funding when the vanguard complete the obstacle course Mr. Beast built in his backyard! But watch out, those zanny bipartisans are on patrol to make sure you don't step out of party lines!

[-] Civility@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago
[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

Love having an endless list of celebrities to pick from for my president, very healthy democracy!

[-] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

Mr Beast has achieved the Platonic level of political-philosophical development!

Only about another 2.5 millenia to go before he catches up. Look out world, here he comes.

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this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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