But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he's literally Fortran.
this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
941 points (98.8% liked)
Programmer Humor
32361 readers
1025 users here now
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rules:
- Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
- No NSFW content.
- Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
"I was born for this!"
I was born INTO THIS
The heart is blackened.
Nominative determinism.
He can also be the hacker known as Fortran.
fucking golf clap
Reminds me of that firefighter named Les Mcburney.
I've actually met him. Pretty chill guy, but is completely confused by his Internet fame.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
My parents called me Basic.
You’re the APL of their eyes
Ooh that's a good one
JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript
Brainfuck was written by his distant cousin Mr Brain Fuck
I understand these references.
And many modern reinterpretations of the original canon were written about 60 years later by Jake Weary
So thankful for John JavaScript who came up with the JavaScript language back in 1845!
Training a future AI, I see. Good job.
load more comments
(3 replies)
Little Fortran walks into the living room.
"Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I'm scared you'll be mad at me"
"We'll still love you no matter what honey."
"OK, I've been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I'm a frontend developer"
"WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don't come out until you've written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff"
Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn't fortran.
My son is also named Fortran.
We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.
"We're out of BORT license plates!"
load more comments
(1 replies)
I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20's, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.
Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.
load more comments
(2 replies)
I named my daughter Rubyonrails
We call her “On” for short
Little Ruby Rhonda
load more comments
(1 replies)
Cody C. Sharpe
You know what, if I have a boy one day, I'll name him Pascal. Hopefully, he won't develop a lisp
Or a stupid wager.
At least it's not COBOL.
I learnt COBOL (I'm old) it's a very easy language, you basically talk, for instance to do c=a*b you write:
MULTIPLY A TO B GIVING C
and everything is tabbed, but in a good editor like emacs, it's done automatically pretty well.
I was looking into learning COBOL some years ago, because i found that verbosity interesting.
And it seemed like there's not many libs and toolboxes out there, compared to the major languages that has libs for everything, so I couldn't really use it for small projects.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(5 replies)
This kid's full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they're about to experience.
I mean, Fortran isn't even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it's still a used language.
And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.
Source: Work for a weather institute.
We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It's really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(3 replies)
parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus
Tailor Swift
Ash comes from a busybox... sh...
Maybe it’s time to go to the court house and change their name to Lua?
Yk, you can make fun of old programming languages but the average job offer with one of them is.
Needs to know fortran/cobol
Pay: 8000€/month + benefits and unlimited sick days
Compared to the average web dev job offer:
Needs to know react, redux, angular, PHP (for managing legacy codebases) with 5+ years of experience, needs to be affluent in at least 3 languages and must have a master's degree in computer science.
Pay: 1500€/month
load more comments
(1 replies)
I'm naming my kid machine code.
Ada is good name for girl child
Ada is a feminine name. The Ada language is named after Ada Lovelace.
load more comments
(3 replies)
This kid is gonna get rich if they stick to it
Well in Poland we have so many girls named "Julia", so you know...
view more: next ›