this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2023
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m ace and couldn’t use it for dating, as no one read any profiles. I did find some friends with the BFF mode. So overall worth it?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I did find some friends with the BFF mode. So overall worth it?

If you found friends, that's 100% worth it, isn't it? Maybe you can ask your friends what they think :D

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I had a good experience.

Just used it for a brief time and met my wife by using the app. Two of my friends also found their wives on the app.

I think it is a place to find more quality interactions than say Tinder. Granted, any app can be used for casual meet ups.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Granted, any app can be used for casual meet ups.

Even Habbo Hotel (:

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I used it once, got a decent date out of it. Despite its gimmick it doesn't feel very different from similar apps to me. I've grown to really dislike this style of dating app, it makes me feel almost ghoulish making a snap judgment on a human being based on a picture and short description. I know that's a tad dramatic and I don't want to discount the format if it works for you, but swipe-based apps always leave me with a bad feeling until I've had enough and delete them.

I used to use OKCupid 10+ years ago and I liked it more, the emphasis on filling out a good profile and answering compatibility questions appealed to me. Not sure if OKCupid is still like that now or not.

Also, maybe this is more of a personal issue but I've had this happen both times I've gotten a date from Bumble and Tinder - there's a lot of reading between the lines and mixed messages that I am not good at. Both times I met up with someone there was an expectation of a sexual encounter on their end that I was in no way prepared for. But I think that stems for my need to be direct and I might be incompatible with that kind of dating scene, haha.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

With my big need to use FOSS for everything i possibly can, no

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not my favorite. I'm aromantic and was just looking for very casual meets. Kept getting ghosted. Have had better luck on reddit-not sure what I'm gonna do now lol

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You should talk to /u/CestUnPeuSorcier

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ace and aro are not the same thing β€” lol in this context they are in fact opposites, because this aro OP is looking for hookups. :P

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Oh really? Wow. I have so much to learn!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah. Demographic of the app when I was using it in my area was not a good fit though, it was very WASPy, not really my vibe.

I liked the dates from coffee m bagel and hinge much better.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The dating mode didn't work out for me. But I found three good friends using the BFF mode.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I met some nice girls and went on some fun dates! The app also helped me get out and explore my city more too. Then love blindsided me and I fell for one of my wonderful guy friends. I guess it worked?

An extended family member met his fiancΓ© on there, they are getting married later this summer :)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

now that is what I would call a testimonial.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

It worked, just not quite in the way the bumble devs were intending! My family member loves his fiancΓ© a lot too ^^

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It was ok and I met one person there but I prefer okcupid personally. Hinge seems decent.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Did you only use the date mode or also the BFF mode? Hinge seems to just have a dating mode and doesn't show you people the algorithm thinks you're not interested in, right?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Fewer overall matches then on Tinder, but the probability of a good date is higher. Overall worth using near a city. Outside of a city, I think you have to use whatever most people use. Or second most, if the first is Plenty of Fish.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I met my wife on bumble

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Nobody reads profiles, it seems. And I don't want to involve myself with someone who can't/won't read.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

To be honest it just increased my distaste for dating apps until I ended up binning them all off. I think the fact I've worked in tech startups my whole career so far has made the whole Silicon Valley 'we're trying to disrupt x human activity' vibe really rub me up the wrong way, I can't get out of my head just how much the app is trying to manipulate me using pretty much the most fundamental human instinct to shove ads in my face or make me feel bad enough about myself to buy a subscription. I know all these things will have been timed and A|B tested to the millisecond to get under your skin as much as possible because that's the world we live in where engagement is everything and externalities be damned.

Also, is it in Bumble's interest to match me with someone I'm actually compatible with? I have no way of proving it obviously but they likely have craploads of behavioural data on their users and tech companies are 100% cynical enough to use that to match people who'll likely have unfulfilling relationships because that would drive engagement and that's literally the only moral parameter these companies really have. Call me a Luddite but I'd rather keep big tech's all-staring eyes out of my dating experience.

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