this post was submitted on 27 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 55 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Shockingly similar to putting your black out drunk friends into bed after a party.

Don't forget a bucket or trash can.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And to put them on their side so they don’t asphyxiate if they throw up

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Few steps missing, the squirming, the unexpected discovery it is twice the weight you thought it was, the pointy hooves and contact with various fleshy parts of your anatomy and catching the bloody thing in the first place.

Honestly from a lamb-over-the-wall perspective this is very much "draw the rest of the owl"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Don't forget the ticks!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

So how many sheep tossings do you have under your belt exactly

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Dozens, and many over the belt too!

Can't have children anymore though :/

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I like to think this woman is some random agent of chaos letting a sheep out of a farmer's fields.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

PETA handout.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Okay, but what if I have a lamb, a cabbage, and a wolf? Obviously I can only bring one at a time over the wall, but the lamb will eat the cabbage if I'm not there...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Is that from a riddle?

Based on what you've given so far, you can just take the lamb first, since the wolf won't eat the cabbage.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

The original riddle is a boat or gondola across the river that can only fit yourself and one thing.

It's not that hard of a riddle, it's just that you have to apply the same logic to the other side too.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Right, but what do you take next? And what do you do when you're going back to get the third thing, leaving whatever's on the other side unsupervised?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

But then what are you putting over the fence next?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What if you eat the wolf first

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

That's some genius-level out of the box thinking. You're hired!

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

J) Hop over fence, go back to step A.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Repeat exercise until you have finished your workout.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Workout? I thought we were trying to help the little fella realise the grass is only greener 50% of the time.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Ah yes, now I see. How nice of the sheep for helping the person to realize that.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

One must imagine green overall lady happy.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Need another guide for the step F, because how the f do you not drop the sheep with that awkward grip?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

It's not so much a grip on step f as a twisting jerking motion

You know. Standard lifting procedure.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Have you ever held a live, non-sedated sheep before...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That’s a damn big lamb. It’s as big as an adult!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Small people shaming ain't cool!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thought this was a joke but watched Clarksons Farm and read those little fuckers are suicide machines

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They’re like fluffier hamsters. You breathe on them wrong and poof, they’re dead. It’s like every sheep is somehow genetically programmed to find the most creative way to end their own existence. And usually that of those around them.

Back in 2005, around 1500 of them jumped off a cliff in Turkey. 400 of them died.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4665511.stm

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

400 cushioned the fall of the other 1100.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I bet there was a run on ground lamb at the closest supermarket the next day.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Ah so I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

See, you gotta coax the sheep with some dancin to get em in the mood.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What's wrong with the trebuchet?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Nothing, but sometimes you don't want to be right to such an extreme degree.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Rogue lambs, walls everywhere, this will definitely come in handy.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Hamlet of Walls in West Sheeperton, Wales.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Crazy how often this comes up.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

This yeets the lamb.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

I will save and cherish this for the rest of my life, hoping to make use of it someday.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Forgot the last step

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Little green women

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Great, NOW you tell me.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Bad guide. Lift with your knees, people

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They lift it with at least one knee

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Halfway there!

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