this post was submitted on 19 May 2024
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Terrible Estate Agent Photos

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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.

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[–] [email protected] 159 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Everytime I start to really disagree with things like heritage zoning I see something like this.

[–] [email protected] 204 points 5 months ago (2 children)

This has been floating around the internet for some time.

The funny part is that heritage zoning is the reason the addition looks the way it does. The upper floor was inaccessible and stairs needed to be added. Local regulations state that any additions must be visually distinct from the original structure so this monstrosity was the result.

Look up Caldwell Tower in Scotland for more information.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Why the fuck would additions need to be visually distinct?

[–] [email protected] 84 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Here is the episode of The Restoration Man that documented the project - they go into the planning side of this in-depth because it's really a head-scratcher. The owner tried many times to get planning for more subtle alternations but they kept getting knocked back because it has to be distinctive enough that it's clear what is the old building and what are the new additions. What you see is the result of that messy process.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's dumb as fuck, literally even if it was brick you'd be able to tell from the weathering of the original stone. NIMBYs are fucking idiots.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Feels like the owner had enemies in the local administration

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Maybe to not be misleading about what is original and what is new

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think you could tell when it goes from stone to plastic.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I work in stone conservation and for the body that dictates these regulations, even if it was built out of stone it would be required to be visually distinct. The only exception is if it were reinstatement of an original feature that had been demolished or decayed to the point that it had to be removed and fully rebuilt. In that case every effort should be made to source the stone from the same quarry, and the same mortar mix should be used.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

An easy way to do that is make the addition not flush, or use a different kind if masonry. The linked documentary includes an interview with the local planning council who recommended finding a local architect with expirience to do it.

Instead the chrap English bastard just used the cheapest options he could find in Essex and wore the council down to approve this monstrosity.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

I'd call this 'malicious compliance'.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I cant understand why that would be a bad thing

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Maybe, in case the next renovation is due, you know for sure which parts are to be preserved and which can be removed. However, some craftsman or architect doing that should be able to tell the difference between modern boards and windows and ancient ones without relying on the help of white plastics or baby blue paint.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

Local regulations: "any additions must be visually distinct from the original structure."

Castle owner: "ok. So we'll glue my grandma's blue-siding house to the castle."

Local regulations: " No, not like THAAAAT"

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

Why on earth white plastic windows and baby blue paint?

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 5 months ago (1 children)

only plus I can see is that the renovation is visibly distinguishable – they’re not trying to pass it off as a “restoration” …

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Another comment ITT claims that that's exactly why they did it this way-- Regulations say it must have that property.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I remember when this hit the news and do hope it's been redone since.

edit: no updates on the Scottish Castle Association since 2012 and TripAdvisor photos show it unchanged other than some weathering.

edit2: Here is the episode of The Restoration Man that focused on the tower and it explains the planning process that led to this monstrosity.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Looks like something from Monty Python and Holy Grail

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Well it was filmed in the Scottish Lowlands not a million miles away (48 miles from Doune Castle).

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

It would have been nice if they pointed out which part was renovated so I didn't need to scour the picture to find it.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

I need a useless red circle to find it

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Sorry, I will write a detailed alt next time

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago

This makes me want to sing the Tetris theme.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Where the President of the HOA lives

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

I was thinking: whichever 'lord' owns the tower - that's where his mother-in-law lives.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago

No worries, I hate it enough for both

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Prime location, good bones.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

"what's next, renovation?"

"AND COVER UP THESE BONES?"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

I believe that’s what they call “postmodern architecture”

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

Looks weird, but if they added a 3rd aesthetic, like Japanese wooden housing, or Russian brutalism, then we'd be talking.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Is that a news crew huddling at the foot of it?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It was featured in S1E4 of The Restoration Man, so I presume George Clarke is somewhere in that picture.

edit: and they return to it in S2E5 which is on YouTube.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

People are such perfectionists when it comes to buildings. I love this image; the patchwork aesthetic needs less hate. Yeah it looks silly, but why should it look serious? I wouldn't be upset if a building built today were to have an awkward attachment added in 500 years that was built to the design standards of that time period.
Somebody showed me recently the rebuild of the Augusteum building of the University of Leipzig which had a hyper-modern redesign like 180 years after it was first built (look it up, it's pretty cool). And the building in this post is like a lower-effort, more earnest version of that idea. Is it bad real estate? Sure. But it's good architecture. "Authenticity" be damned.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Basically, do you want an abandoned ruin rotting away in a field, or do you want a building that people will continue to live in and take care of into the future?

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Please tag NSFL, my poor eyes aaagh

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Gentrification is getting out of hand.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

UK server, OK. Fine. But OP has never been to Pennsylvania in the US. Most houses over a hundred years old look like this: you can see the generations that have lived in it. First it's stone and mortar; then there's a wood addition ca. the early 1900s; then there's a more modern addition ca. the 50's or later. There's one property that was briefly famous as it came up in Zillow that had 5 clearly distinctive styles and technologies worth of additions on it; it's like every generation added another room with whatever was in style at the time. I can't find a picture, but it was hideous.

I don't know if it's common all along the mid-Atlantic, but it is super common in Pennsylvania.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Average looking house in Ukraine. Khrushchovka that itself doesn't look too good is ruined by the fact that each flat was renovated with 0 attention to how the other ones look. There are usually some white walls, some gray, some are still orange form the bricks, some balconies have windows, some don't.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Everyone laughing at the repairs to your tower until the Mongol hordes return - and theirs still aren’t done because they were waiting to source the right Welsh stone.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Should have painted it to match

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Bit of goosewing grey and it’s good to go.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

afaik castles have a recurring problem where rich people buy them saying "we're going to restore this and keep it authentic" but then as soon as they find out the price of doing that they backtrack and usually end up not doing anything. But I would prefer doing nothing to doing this.

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