Talk to HR. If they are not responsive talk to a lawyer that specializes in workplace law.
this post was submitted on 01 May 2024
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You're being bullied. He will continue because he thinks you won't respond. Bullies get worse, not better.
Absolutely correct. That asshole knew exactly what he was doing and he is only going to escalate if OP doesn't push back.
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In what world is sending gore videos to colleagues normal???
Not only that, but "it's known that I don't like gore videos" like it's some common thing that comes up in conversation. I've worked at some raunchy "boys will be boys" type places and the worst we would do is surprise each other with some gay porn images or stuff like 'two girls one cup.'
I mean, if that's ok, it's surely ok for OP to send the offending coworker random dick pics every day at lunch.
I'm opening myself here to be spammed but I'd much rather receive dick picks over snuff.
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Not exactly sending them to coworkers, but I did kind of refer a coworker to one once.
I work in 911 dispatch, it's kind of hard not to end up a little desensitized to some crazy shit. We once had a call about some kind of industrial accident, someone's arm caught in a machine or something along those lines. Obviously not going to share too many specific details about the incident, but we did have a teams on location ready to do a field amputation if needed, but luckily they were able to get the person out without any major injuries.
So our conversations tended to be about a lot of the crazy gory fucked up things we'd taken calls about or otherwise seen or heard about, and I mentioned the Russian lathe accident video to one of my coworkers (don't look that up if you're not the kind of fucked up who can deal with that sort of thing, it's a guy getting caught in a heavy duty lathe and spun around and mashed against the machine until someone comes and hits the emergency stop, at which point there's nothing much left of him)
That piqued her interest, and she went and watched it on her phone at her next break.
I wouldn't send the video to anyone, especially not out of the blue, and when it comes up I warn people not to look it up if they're the type of person who would be significantly disturbed by it. In general I won't even mention it to people who don't work either in some sort of emergency services or medical sort of field where we have to occasionally deal with that kind of thing, or in a machine shop where they're working around those kinds of machines, and even then it's something that only gets brought up to certain people in certain contexts.
Honestly, I feel like you're being bizarrely calm about the situation. This is so far beyond unacceptable that one or both of them should be immediately fired for this offense, lest you have an open-and-shut hostile work environment lawsuit on your hands.
I would make sure to keep the text as evidence and let HR know about it. If the guys are somehow not fired, and ever approach you again or try to retaliate in any way, go consult a lawyer.
That's some hostile workplace kind of BS, and shouldn't be tolerated. Document everything, names, dates, info etc.
He's done this before, and you haven't made a complaint???!
Passing snuff movies around is disgusting - IANAL but I would suggest that at minimum it would be Gross Misconduct and, probably, highly illegal and he should be immediately dismissed and possibly arrested.
However, I'm not a lawyer so I would contact ACAS ASAP, see https://www.acas.org.uk/ and log everything, inc. previous videos he's sent around - don't delete your evidence! But ACAS will advise you best.
I deleted it immediately because I can't stand to have that sort of video on my phone.
He's not sent one to me directly before, but there is a work group chat where similar videos have come up (all deleted by me) and I left a comment saying what I thought about those types videos which pretty much brought them to a stop.
Don't delete it, don't act like this is a minor inconvenience, walk directly to HR or your supervisor and tell them what is going on. This is will-not-work-until-this-matter-is-resolved levels of unacceptable.
Straight to HR - that fucker needs sacking. This is the very definition of bullying and harassment.
It's already well known at work that I don't just not like gore videos but that I hate them and actively avoid them.
What the FUCK is going on at your work? I know this isn't always an option, but I suggest you run away. A workplace where you're considered the weird one because you don't like snuff vids? I really doubt a complaint could fix that environment, it sounds rotten to the core
HR
Not every job has an HR department. And it's my understanding that HR is primarily to benefit the company. I've never worked for a company with an HR department so take that for what it's worth.
You're correct, HR is there to benefit the company. However, in this case, the goals align. OP wants to stop being sent objectionable material while at work. HR wants employees' actions to not open the company up for litigation. Being able to prove that dickhead is engaging textbook harassment while on the clock should be an open and shut case.
All of this is to be taken with a heaping handful of salt, since regulations differ wildly by jurisdiction, but this seems pretty clear cut to me.
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From my understanding your colleague committed a crime under the Indecent Displays (Control) Act 1981 and you can refer the matter to the police - which I would strongly recommend as this is beyond an employee-employer relationship.
And it brings the employer into a position that the company is forced to make sure that the offender cannot reoffend against anyone (not just you). While the first offense is nothing the company can really be held liable for, anything after they have (officially) made aware they can be held liable for.
thats highly disturbing and im sorry to hear that happened to you. your employer should absolutely take this seriously. whether or not they are legally obligated to, im not sure, but if you are at a large company speak to your office of ethics, associate relations, or if small, anyone in HR. just speak up.
That's insane behavior. There is no situation where you should be sharing videos that contain murder to a work colleague. Even if someone asked I would still not send it to them.
I would hope you are covered by law because that behavior is universally unacceptable.
In the US and this sounds like a text book case of harassment and is illegal and absolutely should lead to termination of the offending party. I imagine the UK has stronger labor laws to protect workers, so uh, go to your HR department and whatever the local government labor board equivalent is. You should absolutely not put up with this shitty behavior from anyone.
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As for law I don't know but this is work harassement. Your company surely has a policy against it.
I would advice you to go to your HR make a complain even you don't go all the way to make sure he is punished, you should make sure they is a official trace of what happened. For you, for what you went thought also for the case he keeps going and for other how might be his next victims of harassment in the futur.
Yep work harassment. Not even a maybe.
If some edgelord employee sent a picture of a gun to someone with no context, HR will file it under threat. The edgelord won't get in serious trouble, but would be warned about that since it's vague and can be anything from showing their cool gun collection, to threatening to shoot.
Now a video of actual murder... You better believe thats harassment. No question about it. Immediate removal.
And as the comment above - if he's sending that to you, he absolutely will be sending nasty shit to your other coworkers, especially to those who can't speak up or are too afraid.
TW: suicide
Similar happened to me about 15 years ago, and it still bothers me. Mine was out of the blue though, nobody had shared anything remotely violent or gory in the team. One guy decides to share a 'funny' video with a subject line of 'always search your detainees' or something. A guy gets seated in a room by a cop, asks for some water, cop leaves, guy sits for a moment, then pulls out a handgun and shoots himself in the head. I had headphones on and still remember the sound of his last 'exhale' after dying. Fucked me up for a while.
In short, don't stand for this shit. It's no joke how much it can affect you if you aren't desensitised already, especially if you aren't expecting it.
If I knew who you were and what company you worked for, IβD report that to HR. If that ever happened at my office Iβd fire the guy without even consulting HR. Iβd confiscate his stuff and walk him out the door, HR can clean up the mess.
If there was one hint of retaliation by another employee, Iβd fire them on the spot. If there is any hr or manager retaliation to you, you call a lawyer. Youβll be paid extremely well.
The situation you described is so black and white in your favor - your management and hr department should be quaking in their boots that you donβt sue.
I think the more important question is: why did you not make the complaint? You said that you would, and you know itβs the right move, but you havenβt done it. Instead you came here to ask what would happen. Why?
Not acceptable. I don't know laws in the UK but that person should lose their job. Workplace harassment is a serious offense, as you are REQUIRED to be there, so your employer is required to provide you with a safe, harassment-free workplace.
Keep evidence, keep everything, report everything, and keep doing it. Keep personal logs of who you talked to and when, what was said, even if there's no other record. It's possibly going to cost you your "team member" status, but that's what the harasser is counting on. They are sadistic, and they're going out of their way to make your life miserable and endanger your job and peace of mind.
Show them no mercy.
All the advice about going to HR is great, and you absolutely should.
But on a personal note, I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. Absolutely not even remotely okay for him to do this and you are well within your rights to force an end to this. Wildly unprofessional behavior and down right creepy behavior just on a personality level.
I hope you find peace from him soon.
your colleague is likely a borderline psychopath or antisocial at best (not asocial, antisocial big difference)
I could see this just being someone who is immature and thinking they're being funny, like someone who is ticklish but doesn't like being tickled and people keep tickling them randomly.
To be clear I am not condoning the actions of this person, if the op doesn't want to see gore videos then their wishes should be respected. I'm just thinking back to younger me and I was such an asshole =/
Block his WhatsApp ass.
Another thing you can consider is to find a good mediator and then have a chat with your colleague to talk about your boundaries and about their motives. You got lots of down-votes for your reluctance to complain and have the colleague fired and that made me think that your colleague getting fired might make things worse. Who knows what more horrible things the person would do after that. Something more constructive must be possible.
What a complete and utter distasteful thing to do by your colleague. You do have the other colleague as witness, kind of. In some countries you can get legal advice for free. No idea whether that applies for the UK. Having said that your colleague appears to be seeking for attention, negative or not. You really should define your personal boundaries. However the question is whether ignoring the person and blocking their private number or filing a complaint is going to give them more attention and more reason to harass you. I would talk with a few good friends in real time about this so you can vent or cry or shout about this horrible event. Stay safe!
A good employer would listen to your complaint. Then talk to the other guy. But he will not get fired over one incident.
It may get added to his personal file. If the list of complaints gets to big, some training may follow.
In my country it is very difficult to fire somebody for something like this. Only after repeated incidents, extra training and multiple chances to improve over a longer period of time would they stand a chance.
That does however require other people to report those incidents. So go ahead and report it because it clearly makes you very uncomfortable and it is very unprofessional from the other guy.
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