On that other place before I left, some guy posted a pic of him and his brand new fiance just to tell the world he proposed to her. I replied with something like "You look like a really great couple, I hope you're happy together" and the first response was a downvote. Made me laugh.
this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
63 points (86.2% liked)
Asklemmy
43988 readers
788 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Was tempted to downvote you but held back.
Wouldn't hurt my feelings!
People really went after that squid guy who was sharing his health issues. That seemed pretty unnecessary and aggressive towards someone who's already struggling.
Yeah that was shit. Squid made more than clear he didn't want armchair diagnoses or input. I've had people do the same to me when I post about my colitis. I had someone a month ago tell me that my medical team was wrong to put me on a particular kind of medication, ignoring the fact that it's these kinds of medications or I go through surgery and have a stoma bag. I'm 27 so understandably my medical team doesn't want to jump to surgery without exhausting all other alternatives.
Thatβs one thing I hated so much about reddit. People thinking they know it better even though they donβt know shit. Also some people made fun about him making too many comments for their liking. Itβs despicable behaviour from pathetic menchildren.
I think one of the most surprisingly venomous reactions I ever got personally was on "the other site" for destiny 2. I made some suggestions that basically were "allow people to hide t-bagging, here's how it could work, and also allow people to disable emotes on their client."
I'm an anti-fun Nazi cry baby evidently that just isn't on their level and can't take the heat. I just don't get their amazing side game of getting up in my head. I have no business playing a "competitive" game, taunts and being rude are "just part of the game." Their fun depends on other people being angry and any suggestion that their taunts might be disabled/the other person doesn't see their taunting is going to ruin the game.
I was mostly posting that because a friend kept getting ticked every time I tried to get him into destiny PVP. So of course they attacked me as if "my friend" is imaginary.
The best part was when the mods removed the post for "not having enough to do with Destiny 2" because I bothered to make reference to I think it was what other games were doing or something like that.
Madness to me. Absolute madness.
"I can't have fun unless it's ruining someone's day somewhere" is a depressingly common outlook on life.
You don't deserve to be downvoted for that and I think the option you describe might be a cool idea, but I don't think the goal of t-bagging is neccesarily to make you rage irl, I for one certainly don't see it as rude unless it's excessive, i see it as an invitation to a rivalry and would be sad to see that culture go away. It might be worth you or your friend to introspect on why that behaviour makes you feel the way it does.
There are multiple takes on this, ranging from βtea bagging is fineβ to βtea bagging is sexual assaultβ - see https://gamerant.com/teabagging-sexual-assault-controversy-explained/ for a rundown. I fail to see how allowing people to opt out of it would destroy any form of culture.
TBH I think seeing it as not at all rude makes you the exception. Itβs clearly intended to be rude, to put your opponent on tilt, and most gamers get that.
I guess I find it hard to believe that 90% of the people in my games are ragaholics, including the people I'm joking around with in all chat. That just seems implausible, but maybe the cultural difference is that I mostly play as a stack against people in a stack, which means they are guaranteed na certain amount of social skills.
It might be worth you or your friend to introspect on why that behaviour makes you feel the way it does.
I don't really think the onus is on us.
A lot of multiplayer games have become very toxic, tons of cheaters (okay I don't actually believe this but it's a very common perception; I mostly blame smurfing and bad MMR systems), rude people, etc. It can transform a fun evening into dealing with "TotallyNotANazi" and his buddy "TotallyNotARapist" calling you names, t-bagging your bodies, screaming obscenities, and in some cases, likely using cheats, to make nearly impossible shots.
The other fun one (that's not quite as bad) is when you've been having a clean match with someone, you're clearly winning, you haven't been rude to them at all, then they get one kill on you and it's time to run up a t-bag and get on the microphones or text chat about how you're shit at the game.
The better strategy would be to improve moderation and kick these people out of the games. However, multiplayer gaming has moved from server owners that can ban bad actors to "someone at the studio has to do it" (and frankly, the studios are not holding trolls, jerks, and cheaters accountable).
Games like CSGO have added options like hiding usernames, hiding profile pictures, etc. I just see this as part of cleaning up the rest of it. If you're not going to moderate the multiplayer game to get rid of the most unruly jerks in your community, there should be options for "I don't want to see their nonsense."
Personally, I play shooters to relax, not to be some jerk-wad's punching bag. I don't really mind it if the enemy team is joking around and just being playful about it, but some people are clearly out to just put people down and I don't think they should be the priority; I think they actively keep some spaces of gaming as this cringe elitist thing a lot of people just don't want to interact with.
To me the problem seems to the racism and shittalking that you have attached to all your examples, not the tbagging itself. I totally agree, harassment has no place in any game.
Part of having fun in a competitive (as in pvp) experience is goading and being goaded, that's what creates memorable experiences. Friendly rivalry can be very rewarding. They got one over on you this time, and took a risk to celebrate it, next round you can take a risk to target them, and maybe celebrate as well.
I don't really mind it if the enemy team is joking around and just being playful about it, but some people are clearly out to just put people down and I don't think they should be the priority;
So why not go after the problematic behaviour directly rather than the behaviour that is sometimes playful.
I think it's pretty offensive personally. Especially the name, once I looked up the etymology. Pretty crude IMO.
Someone was telling a story in a parenting community about their kid and how they felt accomplished over something that had happened that day.
Someone else commented that the guy should stop posting because "no one cares about your main character syndrome".
Rule 1 on reddit is never be proud of ANYTHING. People will viciously tear you to shreds.
If you are proud of something, lie and say it's your first project, setting unrealistic expectations for all other beginners in the hobby and you'll get tons of up votes for some reason.
Parenting subs can be weird. Someone didn't like what a pediatrician told them about their kid. Proceeds to get support and validation from the sub. I piped in and said something like it might be smarter to follow the advice of an actual doctor over a bunch of randoms on the Internet. Even getting a second doctor's opinion.
Was my most downvoted comment in 12 years of using Reddit.
I think the flaw here is seeking validation from anonymous strangers..?
Yeah so? Sometimes parents don't have the support they need and want that validation to motivate them. They're exhausted & worn out. Being a parent really wears at you sometimes.
Their crime is needing a little validation? I've seen worse things on the internet.
In the runescape community there is a divide btw runescape 3 and osrs. Jagex devoted most of their resources to rs3 while osrs had 5x the player base of paying customers.
Jagex released an update to rs3 that was basically a shit on the face of the community and only introduced more micro transaction pay2win bullshit into the game. This rs3 player made a post on the osrs subreddit explaining the situation and how the game they love is being destroyed by jagex greed. Now keep in mind osrs players also are pissed at jagex for destroying the game they love and dropping the ball with osrs at the time.
How does the osrs community react to this out stretched hand. They spit in the posters face. Downvoted to hell with 1000s of comments clowning the guy saying no one gives a fuck about rs3 and that they are glad jagex is putting micros in rs3 because it's better there than osrs. Calling rs3 a dead game. Basically saying you're an idiot for spending tens of thousands of hours playing a game that is shit and it doesn't deserve to be saved.
I get that that shit was uncalled for but at the same time hope it sent a strong message to jagex.
But knowing jagex probably has its head to far up its own ass to see daylight, nah that guy didn't deserve it.
Any post on lemmy that goes against the Linux/ FoSS hivemind gets down voted instantly, regardless if it is well thought out or not.
Literally asking for downvotes.
By the way, can I have some?